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Late to the Party: ‘The Ice Cream Man’

Published

4 years ago

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We’ve visited horror classics that somehow managed to pass over our radar. But in this case, I’ve decided to deep dive into a horror movie that few have seen but many are sure to remember. I’m talking about the 1994, direct-to-video, Clint Howard slasher vehicle, The Ice Cream Man!

I’m sure many of you are familiar with this one considering how eye-catching the VHS box art was. Whenever I walked through my local Blockbuster or video store, that image of a psychotic Clint Howard with gouged-out eyes was always pure nightmare fuel. With that in mind, the plot is very befitting of scares the VHS gave kids. The Ice Cream Man follows Gregory (Clint Howard) as he attempts to get his life on track after being released from the local insane asylum.

Getting by as the titular Ice Cream Man and trying to be nice and friendly to the neighborhood kids. But his sanity melts faster than a popsicle under the sun, and Gregory’s soon using “special ingredients” made out of animal and human flesh! It’s up to a group of kids calling themselves The Rocketeers to expose Gregory’s crimes, or they may end up as dessert.

With a brand new 2K blu-ray recently released by the fine folks at Vinegar Syndrome, and that disturbing VHS cover on my traumatized mind all these years, I decided to take the plunge and face my Clint Howard related fears. Needless to say, this isn’t a really scary movie after all, but it certainly delivers in gore and gross-outs. From close-ups of the melting, sticky ice cream, to bodies being mutilated, this movie does not shy away.

Clint Howard really steals the spotlight as Gregory the psycho ice cream man. He’s not some sadistic killer, but a genuinely crazy man who does what he thinks is best to survive… which also happens to include murder and cannibalism. He frequently has flashbacks to the Wishing Well insane asylum where he was ‘treated’ which involved being given big scoops of ice cream, visits by clowns, and getting huge hypodermic needles stabbed into his skull.

Needless to say, his condition did not improve. As our slash villain, Gregory manages to rack up a decent body count while delivering some pretty goofy ice cream-related one-liners.

What’s really interesting about this movie is that for such a gory story, the main protagonists are a group of kids. ‘The Rocketeers’ as they dub themselves are comparable to The Goonies or Monster Squad except they have matching berets and tangle with a wacko Ice Cream Man. As well, Jan-Michael Vincent plays a detective trying to figure out who’s behind the rash of disappearances in town, but always falls one step behind Gregory.

There are some jokes that definitely balance out the horror and comedy aspects of the film such as the asylum director talking about how compassionate the hospital is before telling a screaming patient to shut-up.

Needless to say, this is a very weird movie, but that’s a big percentage of the charm. You just don’t know what kind of antics Gregory is going to get into, but it’s entertaining to see where he goes next. As well, what manner of mayhem he can unleash with all manner of ice cream-related weaponry, from his knife-scoop to slamming a dude’s face into a cone waffle iron.

This is one return to the direct-to-video days of yore I rather enjoyed. If you want to see the Clint Howard carnage, check out Vinegar Syndrome’s blu-ray release. Join us next time when we arrive fashionably late to the party in examining another horror classic!

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Self Driver Runs Out of Road

Published

8 hours ago

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May 12, 2026

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Every few years someone makes a movie where a desperate person takes the money and watches his conscience become negotiable. I am always there for it. Cheap Thrills. Would You Rather. The whole subgenre of moral erosion for cash that does not have a name but absolutely should. Self Driver walks directly into that territory and for the first half of its runtime, it delivers.

Nathanael Chadwick plays D, a cab driver trying to keep his head above water, who gets recruited onto a mysterious new rideshare app that promises fast money and asks for increasingly terrible things in return.

Writer-director Michael Pierro shot this on cellphones with a skeleton crew. That constraint should work against the film. For the first act, it does not. Chadwick earns your sympathy without doing anything obvious to ask for it, and Pierro keeps things tense enough that the premise does exactly what it is supposed to do.

Then the psychedelic angle shows up.

Self Driver

I want to be fair about this. I understand the intention. But it lands the way a plot fix lands. You feel the seam. By the halfway point the script has accumulated a lot of threads, and the psychedelic detour is where those threads stop being pulled. They do not resolve. They just stop mattering.

That is the consistent frustration with Self Driver. It is not short on ideas. It is short on follow-through. Almost every interesting thing Pierro introduces gets picked up, examined, and set back down before it earns its place in the film. The bones of something genuinely great are visible throughout. The second half just never shows up to finish the job.

Chadwick won Best Actor at Grimmfest for this role, and it is not hard to understand why. He is doing real work here. He makes D worth following even when the film is not fully following through on its own premise. That is harder than it looks.

Self Driver is out now on UK digital via GrimmVision. At 2.5 out of 5, it is worth your time if you have patience for low-budget genre work and can make peace with a film that is better than it finishes. Pierro has instincts. Watch for his next one.

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Indie Horror

Panic Fest 2026 Review: ‘Frogman Returns’ Is A Thrilling Sequel That Goes For The Croak!

Published

6 days ago

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May 6, 2026

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Horror as a genre has a greater propensity for sequels than almost anything else in the world of cinema. There have been scores of slasher sequels from the likes of Friday The 13th to A Nightmare on Elm Street to even sequels to seemingly stand-alone affairs like The Exorcist and The Blair Witch Project. While some may be seen as cash grabs or of diminishing returns, it cannot be argued that there have been some phenomenal sequels to horror films such as Aliens and Evil Dead 2 among many others. So imagine my pleasant surprise to see that 2023’s Frogman is back in the aptly named Frogman Returns!

The sequel picks up not too long after the original’s cryptid catastrophe. The Loveland, Ohio Frogman and surrounding cult that was exposed by amateur filmmaker Dallas (Nathan Tymoshuk) has since disappeared and the terror of the magic wand wielding amphibian seemingly ended. Having lost his friend Scotty (Benny Barrett) and a falling out with Amy (Chelsey Grant), Dallas has found a new life heading a cryptid reality web show. But when strange forces call him and his team back to Loveland, will he have to face the Frogman for a final battle?

I was a big fan of the original Frogman upon release, and was interested in seeing where director Anthony Cousins was going to take the story. I’m happy to report that he did the best kind of thing you can do for a sequel like this: made it weirder and wilder! Not only is there Frogman, but a number of classic cryptids have encounters as the genie is out of the bottle and Dallas irrevocably proved that there are truly monsters among us. There is a pretty memorable scene involving a run-in with the living pants-like Fresno Nightcrawler creature that establishes what a brave and bizarre new world things have become since the previous film. Monsters are basically a fact of life now. So, of course, people are finding ways to profit from it.

Dallas’ arc continues from the first film and I do like how he carries the weight and guilt of Scotty’s disappearance and his disconnection with Amy. There are real consequences to the ways things went wrong previously and Dallas is haunted by the consequences of his obsession. Now he attempts to make things right in some form as his adventures bring him back to where it all began. And for those here for Frogman… without spoiling too much, everyone’s favorite amphibious cryptid does make a triumphant return. With a neon explosive finale that left me craving even more.

Frogman Returns does a fine job of documenting the new adventure in the traditional found footage format, with the foundation of Dallas’ new reality web show keeping the cameras rolling. Combining that with ample and memorable practical fx for all manner of beasts and gore to see. Exploding heads, zapped limbs, and so much more get captured on camera in all their visceral glory.

Overall, if you were a fan of the first Frogman, then Frogman Returns is a more than worthwhile follow up to digest.

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Indie Horror

Panic Fest 2026 Review: ‘Creature Of The Pines’ Is An Interesting Found Footage Horror That Walks A Beaten Path

Published

7 days ago

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May 5, 2026

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There are certain parts of the world that have an inherent evil or cursed nature to them. The Bermuda Triangle, where so many ships have vanished in its waters. Death Valley, where many have met their end in the unforgiving desert. And then there’s The Pine Barrens of New Jersey. A woodland infamous for the cryptid named The Jersey Devil.

While The Jersey Devil may be the mascot or face of sorts for the area, there are other dangers within those woods. Specifically, an area known as Pine Hollow. Infamous for numerous disappearances of local and hikers. While some attribute it to natural hazards, others say the source of these incidents may be tied to folklore. An ancient mimic of indigenous legend that targets those wandering its woods. After a trio of hikers disappear and leaves only one shell shocked survivor and witness wandering the wilderness, a documentary crew attempts to clarify between fact and fiction… only to find themselves subject to their own torments.

Creature Of The Pines is a decent found footage/mockumentary endeavor, and I’m always a sucker for that kind of framing. I will also give points for taking an original approach on the region rather than using a more well known cryptid or monster. Instead, crafting their own beast with the shapeshifting demon of indigenous lore. It did make it more interesting than relying on a more infamous antagonist, allowing the movie to make up its own rules and history behind the titular creature.

Unfortunately, the story does fall into a lot of the cliches of the sub-genre as well. Lots of scenes building up strange sounds coming form the woods leading to some shaky cam segments as a character is dragged off by an unseen force and such. The talking heads portions of the mockumentary featured some decent actors and subjects that kept things fairly fresh. Especially the former forest ranger who discussed the dark and terrible history of Pine Hollow.

Even still, the third act was kind of a mixed bag with the final confrontation and reveal of the horror. Ambiguity tends to work better in found footage for a reason, sometimes its better to leave the evil up to the imagination. There’s also a twist to the ending that felt a bit obvious considering the build up.

But, if you’re a big fan of found footage and mockumentary horror like I am, (especially for New England based horror) then Creature Of The Pines is worth at least a watch.

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