News
Etiquette! At the Theater (A Brief Guide to Not Being THAT GUY)
There’s nothing better than a horror movie in the theater. The surround sound, the giant screen and comfy chairs. The movie is building up to a scare and the whole theater can feel it. The tension is mounting, the killer is ready to make his move when-
“Sorry, excuse me, excuse me, just gonna squeeze past you.”
Are you goddamn kidding me?! The moment comes crashing down faster than a hatchet through a skullcap.
Want to make sure you never do this to any of your fellow innocent movie goers? Read on and learn some handy dandy movie theater etiquette.
Know When to Pick an Aisle Seat
Do you know you get up to use the bathroom a lot? Will you be frequenting the concession stand? Did you bring small children to the new Halloween movie (if so please see my next point)? Are you late to the movie?
If any of these apply to you, please sit close to the aisle. No one likes having to get up a bunch of times or having you awkwardly shuffle your ass in front of their face as you come and go. It’s distracting and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Don’t Bring Your Children to a Scary Movie
I mean, this should go without saying, right? I get that babysitters are expensive and you think they won’t know what’s going on anyway and you really want to see the movie, but come on.
Movies are an increasingly expensive night out and I don’t want to hear your child start crying if the movie is too scary, or giggling at a scary movie sex scene. Also, scary movies probably aren’t the best thing for your kid to be watching. Unless you want them writing for iHorror when they grow up.
Shut the Hell Up
Gasps, exclamations, and screams are all welcome at scary movies. But talking to the characters on screen and whispering to your friends are party fouls. If I hear you yell “He’s behind you!”, guess what. I’ll be behind you. Dumping my soda over your head.
Yes, I Can See You Texting
Don’t be that guy. Even if you dim the brightness on your screen, I can still see you and so can everyone else. If someone texts you and you can’t stop wondering what it could be, duck down and give it a quick glance under your jacket to ease your mind.
Emergency? Leave. No? Don’t engage in a conversation. Pretty simple. And save the Facebook check in for after the film.
Keep the PDA to a Minumum
Hand holding and cuddling at a scary movie is one of life’s simple pleasures. But for the love of God no one wants to hear you sucking face. That’s not the kind of fear and disgust we’re looking for at the movies.
Leave Only Footprints
Did you enjoy your large popcorn, nachos and soda? Great! Show your appreciation by throwing your empties in the trash instead of leaving them for your fellow movie goers to kick over and trip on as they leave the aisle. The poor kid sweeping up the theater is going to be there long enough sweeping all those kernels you dropped by accident, don’t add more on top of it.
If you can abide by these basic rules of movie theater etiquette, congratulations! You’re a pillar of movie morals. Please feel free to see a movie in the same theater as me any time. If you can’t abide by these rules, I hear our local libraries have DVDs.
What’s your worst experience with someone breaking the unwritten rules of the movie theater? Let us know in the comments and remember, don’t be that guy!
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Movies
‘Evil Dead’ Film Franchise Getting TWO New Installments
It was a risk for Fede Alvarez to reboot Sam Raimi’s horror classic The Evil Dead in 2013, but that risk paid off and so did its spiritual sequel Evil Dead Rise in 2023. Now Deadline is reporting that the series is getting, not one, but two fresh entries.
We already knew about the Sébastien Vaniček upcoming film that delves into the Deadite universe and should be a proper sequel to the latest film, but we are broadsided that Francis Galluppi and Ghost House Pictures are doing a one-off project set in Raimi’s universe based off of an idea that Galluppi pitched to Raimi himself. That concept is being kept under wraps.
“Francis Galluppi is a storyteller who knows when to keep us waiting in simmering tension and when to hit us with explosive violence,” Raimi told Deadline. “He is a director that shows uncommon control in his feature debut.”
That feature is titled The Last Stop In Yuma County which will release theatrically in the United States on May 4. It follows a traveling salesman, “stranded at a rural Arizona rest stop,” and “is thrust into a dire hostage situation by the arrival of two bank robbers with no qualms about using cruelty-or cold, hard steel-to protect their bloodstained fortune.”
Galluppi is an award-winning sci-fi/horror shorts director whose acclaimed works include High Desert Hell and The Gemini Project. You can view the full edit of High Desert Hell and the teaser for Gemini below:
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Movies
‘Invisible Man 2’ Is “Closer Than Its Ever Been” to Happening
Elisabeth Moss in a very well-thought-out statement said in an interview for Happy Sad Confused that even though there have been some logistical issues for doing Invisible Man 2 there is hope on the horizon.
Podcast host Josh Horowitz asked about the follow-up and if Moss and director Leigh Whannell were any closer to cracking a solution to getting it made. “We are closer than we have ever been to cracking it,” said Moss with a huge grin. You can see her reaction at the 35:52 mark in the below video.
Whannell is currently in New Zealand filming another monster movie for Universal, Wolf Man, which might be the spark that ignites Universal’s troubled Dark Universe concept which hasn’t gained any momentum since Tom Cruise’s failed attempt at resurrecting The Mummy.
Also, in the podcast video, Moss says she is not in the Wolf Man film so any speculation that it’s a crossover project is left in the air.
Meanwhile, Universal Studios is in the middle of constructing a year-round haunt house in Las Vegas which will showcase some of their classic cinematic monsters. Depending on attendance, this could be the boost the studio needs to get audiences interested in their creature IPs once more and to get more films made based on them.
The Las Vegas project is set to open in 2025, coinciding with their new proper theme park in Orlando called Epic Universe.
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News
Jake Gyllenhaal’s Thriller ‘Presumed Innocent’ Series Gets Early Release Date
Jake Gyllenhaal’s limited series Presumed Innocent is dropping on AppleTV+ on June 12 instead of June 14 as originally planned. The star, whose Road House reboot has brought mixed reviews on Amazon Prime, is embracing the small screen for the first time since his appearance on Homicide: Life on the Street in 1994.
Presumed Innocent is being produced by David E. Kelley, J.J. Abrams’ Bad Robot, and Warner Bros. It is an adaptation of Scott Turow’s 1990 film in which Harrison Ford plays a lawyer doing double duty as an investigator looking for the murderer of his colleague.
These types of sexy thrillers were popular in the ’90s and usually contained twist endings. Here’s the trailer for the original:
According to Deadline, Presumed Innocent doesn’t stray far from the source material: “…the Presumed Innocent series will explore obsession, sex, politics and the power and limits of love as the accused fights to hold his family and marriage together.”
Up next for Gyllenhaal is the Guy Ritchie action movie titled In the Grey scheduled for release in January 2025.
Presumed Innocent is an eight-episode limited series set to stream on AppleTV+ starting June 12.
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