So here’s the thing…I don’t like reptiles. I know, I know. I can hear some of you groaning out there as we speak, but it’s true. Further, it’s not that I just don’t like snakes, but I’m actually completely phobic. Naturally, reptile-centered horror films rarely make my watch list.
The funny thing is that even though they freak me out, I’ve seen a surprising number of the films in my life. Some of them I watched out of sheer internalized masochism. If you want a movie to scare you, going with something you’re phobic of is the best shortcut, after all. Sometimes, I was just so damned curious after hearing about a film that I had to see it for myself. Sometimes, they were just what was on TV when you were a kid growing up and your parents had yet to buy their first VCR.
Either way, let’s look at five of the most unnerving reptile-centered horror films I’ve ever seen in no particular order…
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
Okay, before you jump my case, hear me out. I know this film is on the dumb side. The whole idea of a group of scientists looking for an orchid that will supposedly prolong life that can only be found in the jungle surrounded by hungry, and quite frankly, mean-spirited giant anacondas is a stretch even for a creature feature.
Furthermore, I know the snake doesn’t even look particularly real. You know what? When it shows the giant mating ball toward the end of the film and I started hyperventilating, it didn’t matter one bit! Ophidiophobia, folks. It’ll get you every time. Even thinking about it, now…shudder…no thanks!
Venom (1982)
You know what’s scarier than a bunch of giant snakes in the jungle? One snake…one very venomous snake…hiding in your house…
Klaus Kinski, Susan George, and Oliver Reed star in this film about international terrorists who set out to kidnap the child of a wealthy couple. There’s only one problem, the boy’s pet snake he ordered was accidentally swapped with a deadly black mamba which promptly attacks one of the kidnappers before disappearing into the house. As the night wears on, they slowly fall prey to the silent killer.
Check out the trailer below if you’re into that sort of thing.
Crawl
Okay, let’s leave the snakes behind for a moment because I need a break.
Crawl was one of those movies that turned out to be far better than it had any right being and is actually one of the more engaging, tension-filled alligator centered films I’ve ever seen even if some of it is entirely unbelievable. Alexandre Aja’s film about a woman attempting to rescue her father during a category 5 hurricane ratchets up the action quickly as she realizes their home has been infested with very large, very hungry alligators as the floodwaters continue to rise.
From there, you’re off to the races on one of the most entertaining and unnerving reptile-centered horror films I’ve seen in a number of years.
Jennifer (1978)
Jennifer Baylor (Lisa Pelikan) was raised in a rural community where she attended one of those mysterious snake-handling churches. Now in high school, she manages to grab a scholarship to a fancy prep-school, but the other girls treat her badly, bullying her and making her life a living hell. They realize far too late the mistake they’ve made, of course.
You see, Jennifer has a very specific power which manifested in her as a child in church. The girl has a psychic link to snakes and they’re all too willing to do her bidding. You just know the pitch meeting went something like, “It’s like Carrie, but with snakes!”
Still, some of the scenes are downright unsettling especially those images of Jennifer, dressed in a white gown, arms outstretched to heaven, calling out to her slithering servants.
Rogue
Loosely based on a real-life crocodile in Australia, Rogue tells the story of a group of tourists on a “crocodile-watching” boat ride. When their guide (Radha Mitchell) notices smoke in the distance, she decides to investigate to see if someone needs help only to end up stranded with her charges on a small island and the crocs are moving in with the tide.
There are moments of genuine unsettling tension throughout this film that will keep you on the edge of your seat.
Honorable Mention: Alligator (1980)
Possibly one of the best “gators in the sewer” films ever made, this film combines tight action with the terror of finding a 30-foot alligator loose in the streets of New York in ways that are both hilarious and disturbing. The swimming pool at the fancy party will stick with you long after it’s over.
Honorable Mention: Lake Placid
You just can’t talk about reptile-centered horror movies without bringing up this horror comedy gem. Mixing sarcasm with genuinely terrifying creature and a foul-mouthed Betty White, this film is utterly entertaining and perfect for a night in on the couch.