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Horror Movie Review: ‘Sharknado’ (2013)

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Sharknado.

The very name elicits squeals of delight from the cult and B horror movie fans because really, everyone knows exactly what kind of film needs to be attached to a title like Sharknado. It is going to be so-bad-its-good film with some silly shark-related gore in it, and we are going to be treated to some ridiculous flying sharks. The question then is: did we get the film we all expected or did it not live up to the lofty expectations attached to it.

Distributed by The Asylum, and directed by Anthony C. Ferrante (Boo and Scream of the Banshee), Sharknado is a film about a freak Pacific hurricane driving thousands of sharks north toward Los Angeles. The hurricane brings flooding to L.A. with both water and super aggressive sharks (angered by the finning of their brethren for soup) pouring into the city. This leads our heroes Finley “Fin” Shepard (Ian Ziering), an ex-surfer turned bar owner, Nova (Cassie Scerbo), the plucky young bartender who hates sharks, and Fin’s Aussie best friend Baz (Jaason Simmons), to head inland to try and get away from the rising waters and save Fin’s estranged wife April (Tara Reid), son Matt (Chuck Hittinger), and daughter Claudia (Aubrey Peeples) from the encroaching shark-infested waters.

Before we get to Fin’s ex-wife’s house (and the problems created therein), it bears mentioning that there are lots of shark attacks early in the film: sharks mauling surfers on the beach, sharks leaping and ripping evil fishermen apart, but there are no sharknados yet. This, my friends, you have to wait for, and make do with sharks flopping out of waves and swimming up roads to eat people and ravage the city.

As our heroes get to the house, we meet April’s new boyfriend Colin, who is pretty pointless, and thankfully short-lived, and we are introduced to what is essentially the major flaw that keeps Sharknado from being as flat-out fun as it could have been: Fin’s ex-wife and daughter.

While it would be easy to blame the acting, as with many b-movies, the performances in Sharknado are (mostly) hit and miss, but that is very much not the case here. The characters of April and Claudia are so beyond irritating—as written– that it is hard for us to believe that Fin is so motivated to save them and that is a problem with the script itself. His desire to protect his son Matt is understandable; Matt immediately comes off as a great dude, who also flies helicopters (win), and seems worth Fin’s time and effort in saving. Fin’s ex-wife and daughter, however, spend their time in the film doing their absolute best to slow the plot down, make Fin feel like he is a bad person for trying to save a BUS FULL OF CHILDREN, or narrating what is happening on screen for us by complaining that the heroes are not doing something properly, or fast enough while doing nothing themselves.  This makes all of Tara Reid and Aubrey Peeples’ screen time an exercise in making the audience wish that a shark would fall from the sky and eat their characters already.

Speaking of sharks falling from the sky, when we get to the titular sharknadoes, thankfully, they do not disappoint. As if the concept is not b-movie awesome enough,  it is decided that the best way for our heroes to deal with a water spout sucking up and hurling sharks around Los Angeles is with bombs.

Yes. Bombs. It is exactly as ridiculous and entertaining as that sounds.

In the interest of not spoiling anything for those of you who are seeing Sharknado for the first time, we will leave the plot there. Rest assured, however, there is an absolutely amazing ending that will have you giddily laughing, as it (almost) makes getting through the near-unbearable characters (April and Claudia) worth it.

There are some fun smaller roles in Sharknado, including John Heard (Kevin’s dad from Home Alone) as a drunk who fights sharks with his bar stool, and Robbie Rist as the school bus driver, but the film primarily focuses on the main group and is the better for it. While there are a lot of dead extras (a staple of B-horror), so you do not have to worry about not having enough fun, shark-related killings (there is even a red-shirt for the Star Trek fans), the plots’ focus on one group helps to…well it seems wrong to say “keep Sharknado believable”, but it does keep the film grounded in a story that however ridiculous, remains personal, rather than becoming too wide-reaching and scattered for its’ own good.

If you are thinking about seeing Sharknado for the first time, particularly during Sharknado Week, here at the end of July 2014, then I would say that if what you have just read sounds interesting to you, you will enjoy yourself. As with most B-Movies, Sharknado can be an exercise in just accepting what is going on, and looking past the myriad of little mistakes, but for the B-Movie fan, there is a lot here to enjoy. If you have just stumbled across Sharknado because of the hype, but are not into B-movies at all, well…you will get exactly what you expect from this film, and nothing more. Regardless, go into Sharknado with low expectations and with the idea of having a good time mocking the movie as it goes, and you will enjoy yourself.

Then get ready for Sharknado 2: The Second One premiering July 30, 2014, on SyFy; the Sharknado is coming for New York, and this time…it’s in New York.

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Panic Fest 2024 Review: ‘The Ceremony Is About To Begin’

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People will look for answers and belonging in the darkest places and the darkest people. The Osiris Collective is a commune predicated upon ancient Egyptian theology and was run by the mysterious Father Osiris. The group boasted dozens of members, each forgoing their old lives for one held in the Egyptian themed land owned by Osiris in Northern California. But the good times take a turn for the worst when in 2018, an upstart member of the collective named Anubis (Chad Westbrook Hinds) reports Osiris disappearing while mountain climbing and declaring himself the new leader. A schism ensued with many members leaving the cult under Anubis’ unhinged leadership. A documentary is being made by a young man named Keith (John Laird) whose fixation with The Osiris Collective stems from his girlfriend Maddy leaving him for the group several years ago. When Keith gets invited to document the commune by Anubis himself, he decides to investigate, only to get wrapped up in horrors he couldn’t even imagine…

The Ceremony Is About To Begin is the latest genre twisting horror film from Red Snow‘s Sean Nichols Lynch. This time tackling cultist horror along with a mockumentary style and the Egyptian mythology theme for the cherry on top. I was a big fan of Red Snow‘s subversiveness of the vampire romance sub-genre and was excited to see what this take would bring. While the movie has some interesting ideas and a decent tension between the meek Keith and the erratic Anubis, it just doesn’t exactly thread everything together in a succinct fashion.

The story begins with a true crime documentary style interviewing former members of The Osiris Collective and sets-up what led the cult to where it is now. This aspect of the storyline, especially Keith’s own personal interest in the cult, made it an interesting plotline. But aside from some clips later on, it doesn’t play as much a factor. The focus is largely on the dynamic between Anubis and Keith, which is toxic to put it lightly. Interestingly, Chad Westbrook Hinds and John Lairds are both credited as writers on The Ceremony Is About To Begin and definitely feel like they’re putting their all into these characters. Anubis is the very definition of a cult leader. Charismatic, philosophical, whimsical, and threateningly dangerous at the drop of a hat.

Yet strangely, the commune is deserted of all cult members. Creating a ghost town that only amps up the danger as Keith documents Anubis’ alleged utopia. A lot of the back and forth between them drags at times as they struggle for control and Anubis keeps continuing to convince Keith to stick around despite the threatening situation. This does lead to a pretty fun and bloody finale that fully leans into mummy horror.

Overall, despite meandering and having a bit of a slow pace, The ceremony Is About To Begin is a fairly entertaining cult, found footage, and mummy horror hybrid. If you want mummies, it delivers on mummies!

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‘Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2’ is Packed with Cryptid Tales [Movie Review]

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The Skinwalkers Werewolves

As a longtime werewolf enthusiast, I’m immediately drawn to anything featuring the word “werewolf”. Adding Skinwalkers into the mix? Now, you’ve truly captured my interest. Needless to say, I was thrilled to check out Small Town Monsters’ new documentary ‘Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2’. Below is the synopsis:

“Across the four corners of the American Southwest, there is said to exist an ancient, supernatural evil that preys on the fear of its victims to gain greater power. Now, witnesses lift the veil on the most terrifying encounters with modern-day werewolves ever heard. These stories intertwine legends of upright canids with hellhounds, poltergeists, and even the mythical Skinwalker, promising true terror.”

The Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2

Centered around shapeshifting and told through firsthand accounts from the Southwest, the film brims with chilling stories. (Note: iHorror has not independently verified any claims made in the film.) These narratives are the heart of the film’s entertainment value. Despite the mostly basic backdrops and transitions—notably lacking in special effects—the film maintains a steady pace, thanks largely to its focus on witness accounts.

While the documentary lacks concrete evidence to support the tales, it remains a captivating watch, especially for cryptid enthusiasts. Skeptics may not be converted, but the stories are intriguing.

After watching, am I convinced? Not entirely. Did it make me question my reality for a while? Absolutely. And isn’t that, after all, part of the fun?

‘Skinwalkers: American Werewolves 2’ is now available on VOD and Digital HD, with Blu-ray and DVD formats offered exclusively by Small Town Monsters.

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‘Slay’ is Wonderful, It’s Like if ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’ Met ‘Too Wong Foo’

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Slay Horror Movie

Before you dismiss Slay as a gimmick, we can tell you, it is. But it’s a damn good one. 

Four drag queens are mistakenly booked at a stereotypical biker bar in the desert where they have to combat bigots…and vampires. You read that right. Think, Too Wong Foo at the Titty Twister. Even if you don’t get those references, you will still have a good time.

Before you sashay away from this Tubi offering, here is why you shouldn’t. It’s surprisingly funny and manages to have a few scary moments along the way. It’s a midnight movie at its core and if those bookings were still a thing, Slay would probably have a successful run. 

The premise is simple, again, four drag queens played by Trinity the Tuck, Heidi N Closet, Crystal Methyd, and Cara Mell find themselves at a biker bar unaware that an alpha vampire is on the loose in the woods and has already bitten one of the townsfolk. The turned man makes his way to the old roadside saloon and begins turning the patrons into the undead right in the middle of the drag show. The queens, along with the local barflies, barricade themselves inside the bar and must defend themselves against the growing hoard outside.

“Slay”

The contrast between the denim and leather of the bikers, and the ball gowns and Swarovski crystals of the queens, is a sight gag I can appreciate. During the whole ordeal, none of the queens gets out of costume or sheds their drag personas except at the beginning. You forget they have other lives outside of their costumes.

All four of the leading ladies have had their time on Ru Paul’s Drag Race, But Slay is a lot more polished than a Drag Race acting challenge, and the leads elevate the camp when called for and tone it down when necessary. It is a well-balanced scale of comedy and horror.

Trinity the Tuck is primed with one-liners and double entendres which rat-a-tat from her mouth in gleeful succession. It’s not a cringy screenplay so every joke lands naturally with a required beat and professional timing.

There is one questionable joke made by a biker about who comes from Transylvania and it isn’t the highest brow but it doesn’t feel like punching down either. 

This might be the guiltiest pleasure of the year! It’s hilarious! 

Slay

Heidi N Closet is surprisingly well cast. It’s not that it’s surprising to see she can act, it’s just most people know her from Drag Race which doesn’t allow much range. Comically she’s on fire. In one scene she flips her hair behind her ear with a large baguette and then uses it as a weapon. The garlic, you see. It’s surprises like that that make this film so charming. 

The weaker actor here is Methyd who plays the dimwitted Bella Da Boys. Her creaky performance shaves a little off the rhythm but the other ladies take up her slack so it just becomes part of the chemistry.

Slay has some great special effects too. Despite using CGI blood, none of them take you out of the element. Some great work went into this movie from everyone involved.

The vampire rules are the same, stake through the heart, sunlight., etc. But what’s really neat is when the monsters are killed, they explode into a glitter-tinted dust cloud. 

It’s just as fun and silly as any Robert Rodriguez movie with probably a quarter of his budget. 

Director Jem Garrard keeps everything going at a rapid pace. She even throws in a dramatic twist which is played with as much seriousness as a soap opera, but it does pack a punch thanks to Trinity and Cara Melle. Oh, and they manage to squeeze in a message about hate during it all. Not a smooth transition but even the lumps in this film are made of buttercream.

Another twist, handled much more delicately is better thanks to veteran actor Neil Sandilands. I’m not going to spoil anything but let’s just say there are plenty of twists and, ahem, turns, which all add to the fun. 

Robyn Scott who plays barmaid Shiela is the standout comedian here. Her lines and gusto provide the most belly laughs. There should be a special award for her performance alone.

Slay is a delicious recipe with just the right amount of camp, gore, action, and originality. It’s the best horror comedy to come along in a while.

It’s no secret that independent films have to do a lot more for less. When they are this good it’s a reminder that big studios could be doing better.

With movies like Slay, every penny counts and just because the paychecks might be smaller it doesn’t mean the final product has to be. When the talent puts this much effort into a film, they deserve more, even if that recognition comes in the form of a review. Sometimes smaller movies like Slay have hearts too big for an IMAX screen.

And that’s the tea. 

You can stream Slay on Tubi right now.

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