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7 Dysfunctional Horror Families to Get You Through Thanksgiving with Yours

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Thanksgiving.  It’s a time to get together with family, eat until we can’t move, and in general, be thankful for the things we have.  Right?

Right?

Okay, well, maybe that’s how it happens on Hallmark Channel, but we’re horror movie fans, and I like to think that makes us a little more realistic about these things.

We know that family get-togethers aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.  We know that mom resents dad just a little for leaving her alone in the kitchen all day cooking while he sat in the living room watching football.  We know that Aunt Marge is going to spend most of her day telling you what you’ve done wrong with your life in the most passive aggressive manner possible.  And we know that Uncle Joe is going to get plastered and pass out in a corner after making inappropriate comments to everyone in the family.  At some point, in all of that, at least three of your cousins are going to hit the boiling point and throw a couple of punches.

Okay, so maybe all of that doesn’t happen, but it’s not all sunshine, rainbows, and being thankful and we know it.  It’s drama and pain and desperately trying to find something to be thankful for.something…anything.

With that in mind, I put this little list together.  Some of these horror movie families are just the worst, and maybe, just maybe, when your own family is getting you down, these will help you get through.

And hey, maybe if you’re lucky, you can actually throw one in the DVD player and watch together!

#1 The Man, The Woman, & The Children in The People Under the Stairs

Back in 1991, Wes Craven blessed and confused us us with The People Under the Stairs.  The Man and the Woman were brother and sister, but there was something else going on there.  I mean, that Gimp suit?!  And then all the children they had living in their walls…yeah, if anything is going to make you feel better about your family, this would be it.

#2 The Sawyer Family in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

They’re psychopaths…cannibals…and big brother Leatherface literally wears masks made from human faces.  This is a perfect movie to remember when your relatives start yelling at one another over Thanksgiving dinner  I mean, at least there isn’t a screaming woman tied up and bloody at the end of the table.  I hope you don’t…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs3981DoINw

#3 The Davison Family in You’re Next

OK, so at first glance, this family is ridiculously perfect.  Wealthy…good looking…they’ve got it all.  Then you find out one of the brothers has hired assassins to take everyone out at a family gather.  What?!  Yeah, that’s why it made the list.

#4  The Family in The Hills Have Eyes

OK, so lets start by clarifying that I’m not talking about the traveling family.  I’m talking about the actual “family” of deformed, cannibalistic people who attack the traveling family.  And I don’t think I need to explain why that particular family made this list.

#5 The Sharpes in Crimson Peak

Whereas the implication was there that the Man and Woman in The People Under the Stairs were involved in some sort of incestuous relationship, Crimson Peak didn’t play around.  Jessica Chastain and Tom Hiddleston play a sister and brother with a creepy old house and a history of sexy relations.  It’s a hell of a ghost story with a dysfunctional family front and center.

#6 The Torrances in The Shining

Doesn’t matter which version you pick, the Gods and Stephen King came together to create the perfect storm of dysfunctional families in The Shining.  Domestic violence, abuse, alcoholism, you name it.  It’s all there.  Just imagine your family gathering at the Overlook and things might be just a little better.

#7 Every single family in IT

I mean, was there a single family in the film IT that was just normal?  Bill’s family ignoring the death of their son Georgie; Beverly Marsh’s pedophile father; Eddie’s overbearing mother?  These kids had some messed up families and they all lived in the same place!

Well, there you are!  Seven completely messed up families that ought to at least take some of the pressure off your Thanksgiving!  They’re some of my favorites.  What are some of your?  Let us know in the comments!

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Barbara Crampton Joins ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ in Latest DLC

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Gun has been knocking it out of the park recently with their massively successful Texas Chainsaw Massacre game. And now horror fans have something else to be excited about. The horror legend herself, Barbara Crampton (From Beyond) will be making an appearance in the game’s newest DLC.

Barbara has told Fangoria that she will be added in the game as a new mom character. Fans of Gun’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre game have already applauded the company for their fan service and their ability to respond to fans and keep the game updated with new features. This just shows how much the company truly understands horror fans.

Turns out, Barbara Crampton is a huge Texas Chainsaw Massacre fan from way back. In an Instagram post, she had the following to say: “probably my favorite movie of all time is The Texas Chain Saw Massacre… I was 22 and I couldn’t finish it.”

Not only that, but she is also friends with the amazing Gunnar Hansen (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre). Here is what she had to say about him: “My favorite character is Gunnar Hansen as Leatherface… He sat right next to me at my first convention and helped me… we became good friends after that.”

Barbara Crampton in Re-Animator (1985)

So not only do we have horror royalty joining the game, but Barbara Crampton is also friends with the OG Leatherface as well as being a lifelong fan. Hopefully, this will spell success for the game’s upcoming DLC. Not that it was unlikely to be a hit with horror fans in the first place. Gun has a proven track record of delivering just what fans are hoping for.

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‘Tales from the Crypt’ Publisher, EC Comics is Being Brought Back to Life at Oni Comics

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Tales From

After seventy years of being shut down, the iconic EC Comics is coming back by way of Oni Comics. Originally founded as an educational comics brand, it would later become a publisher known for its horror comics and tales to keep you up late at night. William Gaines lead the way and during his time we were gifted with a run of comics such as Tales From the Crypt, The Haunt of Fear, The Vault of Horror, and of course Weird Science among others. Founded in 1944 and running to 1956 it was eventually shut down due to claims that comic books were affecting the minds of our adolescents. After reaching Congress the issue was large enough to take down the small comics publisher.

Crypt
Original Cover art for EC Comics Tales From the Crypt.

Of course, later on, HBO would take Tales From the Crypt and reboot it for television with a whole new generation. However, for comic collectors, it was up to either visiting select digital archives online or purchasing old issues by way of auction. It is exciting to hear that Oni Comics is going to bring EC Comics back to life.

“EC Comics is one of the most artistically important and culturally significant publishers of all time. In ways both artful and shocking, EC confronted the darkness lurking behind the thin facade of American society — a throughline of radically confrontational storytelling that we intend to both uphold and escalate with the first new EC tales in decades. We’re challenging ourselves to evolve EC’s relentless energy and fearless sensibilities in ways never before attempted. These are intense comics for our intense times.“ Oni Comics Publisher, Hunter Gorinson said.

Tales
Cover art from EC Comics Tales From the Crypt.

The first two comics under the new partnership are two new anthology titles that both lend themselves to the flair of their classics. First up Epitaphs from the Abyss followed by Cruel Universe. You can check out the cover for Cruel Universe at the bottom of the page.

Although the partnership is said to not be about nostalgia, we are still hoping that following some of these new titles we do get a special revisit for Tales from the Crypt or one of the other classics.

Epitaphs From the Abyss is due out in stores beginning this July. Cruel Universe is set to arrive in August.

What do you think about the Oni Comics bringing back EC Comics? Let us know in the comments section.

EC
Cover for EC Comics upcoming title.

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Images and a Poster Have Arrived For Eli Roth’s ‘Borderlands’

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Borderlands

Eli Roth’s Borderlands is well on its way to a theater near you. The Gearbox Software game adaptation looks to take its characters, costumes, and the world of Pandora right from the game. So, that is a good sign. However, we are still on the fence with this one. We will have a better idea of what to expect when a trailer drops tomorrow. Today we have our first look at some images from the film along with a hyper-neon fun poster.

Borderlands
Photo: Cate Blanchett as Lilith in Borderlands. Photo Credit: Courtesy of Lionsgate.

The synopsis for Borderlands goes like this:

Lilith (Blanchett), an infamous outlaw with a mysterious past, reluctantly returns to her home planet of Pandora to find the missing daughter of the universe’s most powerful S.O.B., Atlas (Ramirez). Lilith forms an alliance with an unexpected team – Roland (Hart), a former elite mercenary, now desperate for redemption; Tiny Tina (Greenblatt), a feral pre-teen demolitionist; Krieg (Munteanu), Tina’s musclebound, rhetorically challenged protector; Tannis (Curtis), the scientist with a tenuous grip on sanity; and Claptrap (Black), a persistently wiseass robot. These unlikely heroes must battle alien monsters and dangerous bandits to find and protect the missing girl, who may hold the key to unimaginable power. The fate of the universe could be in their hands – but they’ll be fighting for something more: each other.

Borderlands stars Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Edgar Ramirez, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Haley Bennett, Olivier Richters, Gina Gershon, Cheyenne Jackson, Charles Babalola, Benjamin Byron Davis, Steven Boyer, Bobby Lee, Ryann Redmond, Penn Jillette, and Janina Gavankar, and Jack Black.

Borderlands

Borderlands arrives in theaters beginning August 9. Are you excited about this one? Let us know in the comments section.

Borderlands

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