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The German Chainsaw Massacre – Movie Review

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Every now and then I like to educate people about German horror movies of the past and the present. And when I saw this movie, I had to review it.

About the Movie

Das Deutsche Kettensägenmassaker (also known as Blackest Heart) is an homage, or maybe more of a parody, of the 1974 movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, as you might see by the title alone. In 1990, shortly after the wall fell and the borders between eastern and western Germany opened, Clara kills her husband and flees to west Germany, ready to meet a friend there. Instead she meets an inbred cannibal family. Chaos ensues.

German Chainsaw Massacre Review

No idea why former German Chancellor Helmut Kohl is listed on this poster.

It’s written and directed by Christoph Schlingensief, who made this movie as part of his “German Trilogy”, after 100 Years of Adolf Hitler and before Terror 2000. The most notable actor to appear in this movie is Udo Kier as Jonny.

Its runtime is 63 minutes, and those 63 are more than enough.

Review

The German Chainsaw Massacre is a movie you have to see to believe. The first shot of the movie is of a woman cut in half, with her guts hanging out. It’s just a short flash, before the movie even starts. From the first scene everything just feels weird. Clara’s husband is played by a woman, masked as a man like you’d see it in a cheap theater production. Adding to that are many uses of the Dutch angle and other weird angles.

Later on we meet the family. One daughter is a lesbian, Margit, played by the same woman who played Clara’s husband. The other characters are just crazy and weird, Udo Kier at one point sets his hair on fire, running around the room singing “My hair is on fire”. That kind of crazy.

Blackest Heart movie Review

A young Udo Kier as Jonny (yes his hair is on fire)

The whole movie has an underground feeling to it, almost like a movie you shouldn’t be watching. Even though it is not scary, it surely is shocking and making you feel uncomfortable.

The gore is crazy. It is very cheap, but I feel it’s so cheap that they might have just used actual animal guts, which adds another level of creepy. The shot of the woman ripped in half is surely a gory highlight, and you get the full context of that shot later in the movie. But there are many more uses of gore, some not as good as others, but all in all still effective.

Final Thoughts

This movie is as much a horror movie as the Troma movies. It’s not scary, but excessive in gore and other taboo topics that make you feel uncomfortable instead of scared. It is cheaply made with some bad effects. But it still is interesting and worth a watch. Just know what you are getting into before you start it. It’s experimental film making mixed with strong social commentary.

If you like Troma or want to see something really out of the ordinary, or just plain weird, give The German Chainsaw Massacre a try.

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The Top-Searched Free Horror/Action Movies on Tubi This Week

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The free streaming service Tubi is a great place to scroll when you’re unsure what to watch. They are not sponsored or affiliated with iHorror. Still, we really appreciate their library because it’s so robust and has many obscure horror movies so rare you can’t find them anywhere in the wild except, if you’re lucky, in a moist cardboard box at a yard sale. Other than Tubi, where else are you going to find Nightwish (1990), Spookies (1986), or The Power (1984)?

We take a look at the most searched horror titles on the platform this week, hopefully, to save you some time in your endeavor to find something free to watch on Tubi.

Interestingly at the top of the list is one of the most polarizing sequels ever made, the female-led Ghostbusters reboot from 2016. Perhaps viewers have seen the latest sequel Frozen Empire and are curious about this franchise anomaly. They will be happy to know it’s not as bad as some think and is genuinely funny in spots.

So take a look at the list below and tell us if you are interested in any of them this weekend.

1. Ghostbusters (2016)

Ghostbusters (2016)

An otherworldly invasion of New York City assembles a pair of proton-packed paranormal enthusiasts, a nuclear engineer and a subway worker for battle.An otherworldly invasion of New York City assembles a pair of proton-packed paranormal enthusiasts, a nuclear engineer and a subway worker for battle.

2. Rampage

When a group of animals becomes vicious after a genetic experiment goes awry, a primatologist must find an antidote to avert a global catastrophe.

3. The Conjuring The Devil Made Me Do It

Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren uncover an occult conspiracy as they help a defendant argue that a demon forced him to commit murder.

4. Terrifier 2

After being resurrected by a sinister entity, Art the Clown returns to Miles County, where his next victims, a teenage girl and her brother, await.

5. Don’t Breathe

A group of teens breaks into a blind man’s home, thinking they’ll get away with the perfect crime but get more than they bargained for once inside.

6. The Conjuring 2

In one of their most terrifying paranormal investigations, Lorraine and Ed Warren help a single mother of four in a house plagued by sinister spirits.

7. Child’s Play (1988)

A dying serial killer uses voodoo to transfer his soul into a Chucky doll which winds up in the hands of a boy who may be the doll’s next victim.

8. Jeepers Creepers 2

When their bus breaks down on a deserted road, a team of high school athletes discovers an opponent they cannot defeat and may not survive.

9. Jeepers Creepers

After making a horrific discovery in the basement of an old church, a pair of siblings find themselves the chosen prey of an indestructible force.

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Morticia & Wednesday Addams Join Monster High Skullector Series

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Believe it or not, Mattel’s Monster High doll brand has an immense following with both young and not-so-young collectors. 

In that same vein, the fan base for The Addams Family is also very large. Now, the two are collaborating to create a line of collectible dolls that celebrate both worlds and what they have created is a combination of fashion dolls and goth fantasy. Forget Barbie, these ladies know who they are.

The dolls are based on Morticia and Wednesday Addams from the 2019 Addams Family animated movie. 

As with any niche collectibles these aren’t cheap they bring with them a $90 price tag, but it’s an investment as a lot of these toys become more valuable over time. 

“There goes the neighborhood. Meet the Addams Family’s ghoulishly glamorous mother-daughter duo with a Monster High twist. Inspired by the animated movie and clad in spiderweb lace and skull prints, the Morticia and Wednesday Addams Skullector doll two-pack makes for a gift that’s so macabre, it’s downright pathological.”

If you want to pre-purchase this set check out The Monster High website.

Wednesday Addams Skullector doll
Wednesday Addams Skullector doll
Footwear for Wednesday Addams Skullector doll
Morticia Addams Skullector doll
Morticia Addams doll shoes
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1994’s ‘The Crow’ Coming Back to Theaters for A New Special Engagement

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The Crow

Cinemark recently announced that they will be bringing The Crow back from the dead once again. This announcement comes just in time for the film’s 30th anniversary. Cinemark will be playing The Crow in select theaters on May 29th and 30th.

For those unaware, The Crow is a fantastic film based on the gritty graphic novel by James O’Barr. Widely considered one of the best films of the 90s, The Crow’s lifespan was cut short when Brandon Lee died of an accidental on set shooting.

The official synapsis of the film is as follows. “The modern-gothic original that entranced audiences and critics alike, The Crow tells the tale of a young musician brutally murdered alongside his beloved fiancée, only to be risen from the grave by a mysterious crow. Seeking revenge, he battles a criminal underground that must answer for its crimes. Adapted from the comic book saga of the same name, this action-packed thriller from director Alex Proyas (Dark City) features hypnotic style, dazzling visuals, and a soulful performance by the late Brandon Lee.”

The Crow

The timing of this release couldn’t be better. As a new generation of fans eagerly awaits the release of The Crow remake, they can now see the classic film in all of its glory. As much as we love Bill Skarsgard (IT), there is something timeless in Brandon Lee’s performance in the film.

This theatrical release is part of the Scream Greats series. This is a collaboration between Paramount Scares and Fangoria to bring audiences some of the best classic horror films. So far, they are doing a fantastic job.

That’s all the information we have at this time. Make sure to check back here for more news and updates.

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