EDITORIAL

Netflix made so-called history on Super Bowl Sunday, they released a big budget, big studio movie on the streaming service that was supposed to play in theaters.

Oh wait, they did the same thing with James Franco and Seth Rogan’s awful comedy The Interview almost to the date back in 2015.

That film was supposed to be a blockbuster dropping in theaters in 2015, but due to an international hack and subsequently flawed software, it was available online for free. Netflix came to the rescue almost a month later.

In this latest Netflix surprise, the media is touting this as a “game changer” for the bandwidth cannibal, but it also may mean we get to see sub-par movies in our home sooner than having to discover how much we hate them in the theater.

Details are still unclear why The Cloverfield Paradox, nee The God Particle, was dropped into your streaming queue for viewing just after the big game on Sunday night.

Money probably. But wouldn’t it have made more coins as a theatrical release? After all it is a sequel to a film with a huge fan base. 10 Cloverfield Lane seemed to be setting us up for something big, we would have made like Movie Pass lemmings to the box office jump off.

Even though half the trailer that played during the Super Bowl suggested that there would be monsters because it literally contained the best footage from the first film for half of it, Paradox is not a horror movie, so remove that fan base. It just doesn’t have monsters.

It also doesn’t have a really big-name star other than its producer J.J. Abrams. And then there’s Chris O’Dowd in a supporting role who is always enjoyable in romantic comedies.

It also compounds the franchise’s narrative as much as 10 Cloverfield Lane did, this time by setting it in space away from the monsters wreaking havoc on earth: You know where all the real action is taking place.

But it’s gotta to be good, right, you ask?

Actually it’s only so-so. I think something fans of the first movie want to see is the return of the Sarlacc-looking behemoth that decapitates national monuments. They don’t want to see yet another corridor lit with a strobe and dappled with a downpour of sparks.

Also, enough is enough of the crew member on a medical bay table gag. We’ve seen enough things burst forth from expendable character’s stomachs that it’s no longer homage, it’s kind of insulting to everyone at this point.

The Cloverfield Paradox is a psychological action thriller set in space, but the action is tepid and all the flavor has been chewed out of the thriller part because nearly every CliffsNote from the textbook “Stranded on a Space Station” has been used. Spoiler alert there are blinking lights, escape pods, women in peril, aforementioned exploding section of a crewman’s torso, and the promise of a final girl.

Even the “original” alternate dimension aspect of it was done much better in Event Horizon. It’s a rehash of a re-hash of a re-hash. That’s too much hash for a main course.

You may believe Netflix has done a game-changing move, but in my opinion I fear they may only have classed up the stigma associated with the direct-to-video label. Paramount, Fox, I don’t care, slap a “direct to video” label on a film and it immediately gets the eye of scrutiny.

This reminds me of the up-coming straight to video release of  Deep Blue Sea 2. That title  is trying to help out the SyFy channel by premiering the movie exclusively on their network after its direct-to-video release.

Although Cloverfield Paradox and Deep Blue Sea 2 are by far superior in both budget and scope as anything SyFy’s go-to Asylum Pictures can dream up, that studio at least gets an A for originality.

I don’t think Netflix has really done anything but save face for Paramount by playing the younger brother who takes the blame for something his sibling has done. But even parents catch on they’ve been duped after a while and put punishment where it belongs.

Netflix, you don’t need to do these types of tricks to win us over. You nearly had us convinced you were the real deal with things like “Gerald’s Game,” “Black Mirror,” “Bright” and other originals green lit by your savvy producers.

Continue putting your own stuff out there and leave the others to fend for themselves.

A surprise “Stranger Things 3” season would have sealed in your coolness factor on Super Bowl Sunday, not this publicity stunt which does nothing but make both your hardcore fans and fans of the Cloverfield universe feel sucked out into space.