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Despite Popularity of the Flavor, Americans Buying Fewer Real Pumpkins Than Ever Before

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Written by John Squires

Guys. We have a Halloween problem on our hands. And we need to talk about it. So sit down.

Pumpkins. They’re perhaps THE main staple of every Halloween season – picked, gutted, and carved by millions of Americans across the country in the brisk and wonderful Fall months. Nothing quite says Halloween like carving yourself a jack-o’lantern… though our relationship with pumpkins has changed a bit in recent years.

You need only take a trip to your local grocery store – but please hold off on doing so until after you finish reading this post – to see that pumpkin-flavored EVERYTHING is the name of the game right now, as it has been for the last couple years. Our society’s obsession with consuming the artificial flavor of the season grows more and more with each passing year, and you’d be hard pressed to find a food product that DOESN’T have a pumpkin-flavored sibling – from Twinkies to coffee, yogurt to cat litter.

Okay, so cat litter isn’t a food product, per se, but pumpkin spice cat litter is totally a thing I saw at Target this past weekend. I swear. Look it up.

pumpkin spice food

According to Nielsen data released last week, we’ve got a full-blown pumpkin invasion on our hands at the moment, as the statistics note that “pumpkin products accounted for $361 million in sales in the last year alone, having grown 79% since 2011.” Furthermore, “37% of U.S. consumers purchased a pumpkin-flavored product” last year, a percentage that is likely to rise once this year’s season comes to a close and the numbers are available.

What consensus can we draw from this compelling data?

AMERICANS. FUCKING. LOVE. PUMPKINS.

But here’s the problem, Americans. Despite the MASSIVE fan base that pumpkin-flavored foods have acquired in the last several years, sales of ACTUAL PUMPKINS are going down as the sales of these FAKE PUMPKIN FLAVORINGS are going up, up, up. According to the very same Nielsen date cited up above, “sales of fresh pumpkins have been declining, with unit sale losses in 2011, 2013 and 2014 accounting for 8.6 million fewer pumpkins sold.”

EIGHT POINT SIX MILLION, FOLKS.

The dilemma, it seems, is that the more consumed we become with consuming the flavor we associate with pumpkins – which is actually more often the flavor of the various spices that go into such holiday treats – the less interested we become in actually, well, buying, eating, carving, and generally enjoying the company of those bright orange gourds we once held so near and dear. While we’re worshiping at the altar of the almighty Pumpkin Spice Latte, we’re neglecting the very spirit of Halloween itself.

Alright, so that last sentence was admittedly a tad dramatic on my part, but I was imagining a really sad-looking pumpkin when I wrote it, and I started to get really sad. Just look at this poor thing. Look at how upset he is that you love to drink and eat fake versions of his essence…

sss

What can we do about this troubling trend in the world of Halloween? For starters, I urge everyone reading this to pick and purchase a few pumpkins this year. I’m not saying you shouldn’t stuff your face with pumpkin spice Twinkies, nor am I suggesting you put down your festive mug filled with pumpkin coffee, but rather that you give as much love to the pumpkins themselves. Because if the numbers keep dwindling, I’m afraid that we just might phase real pumpkins out completely.

And Halloween without real pumpkins just isn’t Halloween.

So keep Halloween alive. Pick a motherfuckin’ pumpkin. And tell your friends, family members, and mortal enemies to do the same.

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The Pope’s Exorcist Officially Announces New Sequel

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The Pope’s Exorcist is one of those films that’s just fun to watch. It isn’t the most terrifying film around, but there’s something about Russel Crow (Gladiator) playing a wise cracking Catholic priest that just feels right.

Screen Gems seems to agree with this assessment, as they have just officially announced that The Pope’s Exorcist sequel is in the works. It makes sense that Screen Gems would want to keep this franchise going, considering the first film scared up almost $80 million with a budget of only $18 million.

The Pope's Exorcist
The Pope’s Exorcist

According to Crow, there may even be a The Pope’s Exorcist trilogy in the works. However, recent changes with the studio may have put the third film on hold. In a sit-down with The Six O’Clock Show, Crow gave the following statement about the project.

“Well that’s in discussion at the moment. The producers originally got the kick off from the studio not just for one sequel but for two. But there’s been a change of studio heads at the moment, so that’s going around in a few circles. But very definitely, man. We set that character up that you could take him out and put him into a lot of different circumstances.”

Crow has also stated that film’s source material involves twelve separate books. This would allow the studio to take the story in all kinds of directions. With that much source material, The Pope’s Exorcist could even rival The Conjuring Universe.

Only the future will tell what becomes of The Pope’s Exorcist. But as always, more horror is always a good thing.

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New ‘Faces of Death’ Remake Will Be Rated R For “Strong Bloody Violence and Gore”

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In a move that should surprise absolutely no one, the Faces of Death reboot has been given an R rating from the MPA. Why has the film been given this rating? For strong bloody violence, gore, sexual content, nudity, language, and drug use, of course.

What else would you expect from a Faces of Death reboot? It would honestly be alarming if the film received anything less than an R rating.

Faces of death
Faces of Death

For those unaware, the original Faces of Death film released in 1978 and promised viewers video evidence of real deaths. Of course, this was just a marketing gimmick. Promoting a real snuff film would be a terrible idea.

But the gimmick worked, and franchise lived on in infamy. The Faces of Death reboot is hoping to gain the same amount of viral sensation as its predecessor. Isa Mazzei (Cam) and Daniel Goldhaber (How to Blow Up a Pipeline) will spearhead this new addition.

The hope is that this reboot will do well enough to recreate the infamous franchise for a new audience. While we don’t know much about the film at this point, but a joint statement from Mazzei and Goldhaber gives us the following info on the plot.

“Faces of Death was one of the first viral video tapes, and we are so lucky to be able to use it as a jumping off point for this exploration of cycles of violence and the way they perpetuate themselves online.”

“The new plot revolves around a female moderator of a YouTube-like website, whose job is to weed out offensive and violent content and who herself is recovering from a serious trauma, that stumbles across a group that is recreating the murders from the original film. But in the story primed for the digital age and age of online misinformation, the question faced is are the murders real or fake?”

The reboot will have some bloody shoes to fill. But from the looks of it, this iconic franchise is in good hands. Unfortunately, the film does not have a release date at this time.

That’s all the information we have at this time. Make sure to check back here for more news and updates.

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Movie Reviews

Panic Fest 2024 Review: ‘The Ceremony Is About To Begin’

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People will look for answers and belonging in the darkest places and the darkest people. The Osiris Collective is a commune predicated upon ancient Egyptian theology and was run by the mysterious Father Osiris. The group boasted dozens of members, each forgoing their old lives for one held in the Egyptian themed land owned by Osiris in Northern California. But the good times take a turn for the worst when in 2018, an upstart member of the collective named Anubis (Chad Westbrook Hinds) reports Osiris disappearing while mountain climbing and declaring himself the new leader. A schism ensued with many members leaving the cult under Anubis’ unhinged leadership. A documentary is being made by a young man named Keith (John Laird) whose fixation with The Osiris Collective stems from his girlfriend Maddy leaving him for the group several years ago. When Keith gets invited to document the commune by Anubis himself, he decides to investigate, only to get wrapped up in horrors he couldn’t even imagine…

The Ceremony Is About To Begin is the latest genre twisting horror film from Red Snow‘s Sean Nichols Lynch. This time tackling cultist horror along with a mockumentary style and the Egyptian mythology theme for the cherry on top. I was a big fan of Red Snow‘s subversiveness of the vampire romance sub-genre and was excited to see what this take would bring. While the movie has some interesting ideas and a decent tension between the meek Keith and the erratic Anubis, it just doesn’t exactly thread everything together in a succinct fashion.

The story begins with a true crime documentary style interviewing former members of The Osiris Collective and sets-up what led the cult to where it is now. This aspect of the storyline, especially Keith’s own personal interest in the cult, made it an interesting plotline. But aside from some clips later on, it doesn’t play as much a factor. The focus is largely on the dynamic between Anubis and Keith, which is toxic to put it lightly. Interestingly, Chad Westbrook Hinds and John Lairds are both credited as writers on The Ceremony Is About To Begin and definitely feel like they’re putting their all into these characters. Anubis is the very definition of a cult leader. Charismatic, philosophical, whimsical, and threateningly dangerous at the drop of a hat.

Yet strangely, the commune is deserted of all cult members. Creating a ghost town that only amps up the danger as Keith documents Anubis’ alleged utopia. A lot of the back and forth between them drags at times as they struggle for control and Anubis keeps continuing to convince Keith to stick around despite the threatening situation. This does lead to a pretty fun and bloody finale that fully leans into mummy horror.

Overall, despite meandering and having a bit of a slow pace, The ceremony Is About To Begin is a fairly entertaining cult, found footage, and mummy horror hybrid. If you want mummies, it delivers on mummies!

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