Last week, we started a new weekly series about some of the crazy real-life horror stories from the week prior. We often cover these types of stories as it is, but this is kind of a round-up. It’s not necessarily a comprehensive look at all of the world’s horror of the week, but a collection of mostly oddball stories from across the web. Enjoy.

Upstate Sacrificial Slaughter

A bag filled with a decapitated goat, headless birds, carrots, and grapes was found in upstate New York in what is suspected to be a sacrificial offering. This follows two similar incidents in the same area that happened recently. Investigators have reportedly called in an occult expert.

Oh, Just Another Terrifying Robot With Terminator-Like Survival Capabilities

Gizmodo calls this thing the strongest robot it has ever seen, which is saying something, considering this comes from the one of the Internet’s most widely-read gadget blogs. It can survive being run over, being burned, and being frozen. Thankfully it doesn’t look like the Terminators we’re accustomed to, but there’s still a pretty creepy vibe about it.

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Naturally, People Fear the Reaper

A man dressed as the Grim Reaper has been hanging out in a cemetery in Albuquerque, freaking people out as you’d expect. He goes by the name “Light Wanderer,” and prays for the dead. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.

Hostel Owner Makes His Own Real-Life Horror Movies

Our own John Squires tells us about a Hostel run by a “sadistic man [who] assaulted and tortured up to 16 young male tourists, allegedly rendering them unconscious and carrying out all sorts of devious acts with their lifeless bodies.” Read all about it here.

Real Life Nearly Imitates One Of Freddy’s Best Kills

A Cincinnati man was camping in Kentucky, and fell 60 feet after sleepwalking off a cliff. Somehow, he survived, and is expected to make a full recovery. Still, I can’t help but be reminded of one of my favorite kills from the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise:

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It’s unclear if the sleepwalking man experienced any vein puppetry.

Satan’s Flesh

In Vancouver, a nine-foot statue of Satan, naked with an erect penis, mysteriously appeared in a park.

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News agencies got the chance to make bad jokes like how Vancouver had a “hell of a day” and run with headlines like “The Devil Wears Nada”.

Beware The Giant Venomous Caterpillar

The Huffington Post ran a story called “Watch Out For The Puss Caterpillar” about a giant venomous caterpillar. Usually I consider caterpillars to be cute and friendly creatures, but I don’t think I want to mess around with these things. They’re found in trees in Florida, and their venomous bristles apparently break off in human skin when touched, causing “intense” pain. Watch out indeed.

Scarecrow and Mrs. Zombie

A woman was arrested after breaking into another woman’s house, pushing her down the stairs, biting her face, and telling her she was playing the “zombie game,” the AP reports. Shockingly, drugs and alcohol were involved. The cops think she might have also been influenced by a…scarecrow contest.

Food Is Turning People Violent

A man stabbed a coworker for stealing and eating one of his meatballs. One. As The Huffington Post notes, this follows cases in which one man pulled a knife on his brother over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and another who stabbed his brother over some mac and cheese.

That Moment When Your Dog Brings You A Human Skull

A Labrador retriever in Austin randomly brought a human skull to its owners in their front yard. The police are investigating, and apparently don’t know where it came from or who it belongs to. I’m reminded of both The Burbs and the fantastic opening sequence of Lucio Fulci’s The New York Ripper (thought the dogs in those films retrieved a femur and a hand, respectively).

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That Moment When Your Dog Turns Out To Be What You Had For Dinner

A woman’s Pomeranian was missing. She and her boyfriend had had a fight, but then seemingly reconciled. After that, the man cooked the woman a meal containing meat, which turned out to be the dog, which he allegedly killed. He reportedly later sent her a text message asking her how her dog tasted. The man is also said to have left a bag containing the dog’s paws on the woman’s doorstep. Truly horrific.

Bags of Rotting Beavers Left Outside TitleMax

A guy left bags of rotting beaver carcasses, maggots, and fluid in the parking lot of a TitleMax as some kind of revenge for debt collector harassment. I’m not sure if leaving bags of dead beavers in parking lots hurts your credit score, but I’m certain it can’t help. Huffington Post gets the award for article title of the year on this one: Cumming Man Ditches ‘Atrocious’ Beavers. The story happened in Cumming, Georgia.

Man Raped And Killed By Five Wives

A Nigerian man with six wives was viciously raped by five of them before dying. He was reportedly having sex with the sixth wife, which made the other five jealous enough to attack him with knives and sticks and force him to have sex with them. He survived sex with four of them, but stopped breathing when the fifth tried to rape him. The women reportedly retreated into the woods in this bizarre tale. Only two were arrested and charged with murder and rape.