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Just Kill Me: 5 Movies You Wouldn’t Want to Survive
You may be able to tough it out with the best of the Final Girls, but would you want to survive a bloody massacre just to live with the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?
If you survive a bout with Freddy Krueger, every time you go to sleep you’ll just be waiting for the next round. If you can beat Jason, you may never again feel like you’re practicing safe sex. After Leatherface, you could never take the scenic route.
If I were in any one of these 5 movie situations, I think I’d rather just say no thank you, just kill me. Take me now and take me quick, because I sure as shit wouldn’t want to try and fight my way through.
Asylum Blackout (aka The Incident, 2011)
In Asylum Blackout, a massive storm causes a power outage at an asylum for the criminally insane. This unlocks all the mechanical doors (great idea, guys), trapping a small group of civilian cooks with the disturbed inmates who have stopped taking their medication. Things aren’t looking good for the guys when their only safe haven is breached and they must attempt to make their way through the asylum to find outside help. Written by S. Craig Zahler (Bone Tomahawk), the situation is perfectly terrifying. Our heroes must navigate dark, winding corridors through half-empty cell blocks while trying to avoid sadistic criminals who are only focused on causing pain. No thank you.
The Descent (2005)
Claustrophobia is bad enough, but being trapped in the deep, dark underground with an unknown number of insidious cave-dwellers and a group of your best friends with no help in sight is just too much. Those creatures could be lurking around every dark corner, and you’re hopelessly lost in an unknown tunnel system. Who knows if there even is a way out. If you even do manage to escape, you have to live with the guilt of knowing that you’ve left your friends down there to be eaten. You’d certainly never feel comfortable in the world knowing that those things exist down there. And that’s if you actually manage to find freedom.
Tusk (2014)
Being surgically transformed into a human-walrus hybrid is bad enough, but being forced to live that way is just unfathomable. Why would you ever want to survive that? No, God, no, why. That’s it, just kill me.
The Human Centipede (2009)
Speaking of horrible surgical situations that you wouldn’t want to survive, Human Centipede, amiright? Nope nope nope. I don’t think I need to go into my reasoning here, because it’s just a huge pile of hell no.
The Mist (2007)
If the tentacle monsters, acid-shooting giant spiders, and flying death bugs don’t convince you, maybe the maniacal religious fanatics will. You sure as hell wouldn’t want to be forced out into the great and misty unknown with those creatures around, but those bible thumpers might just stab you and toss you out anyways. If you do make it through, the future is bleak. Would those inter-dimensional hell beasts come back? Who knows. Have you witnessed the brutal deaths of all your friends and family? Sure thing. Would you live in constant terror with the knowledge of everything you’ve witnessed? Most definitely.
So, what would be on your list? What situation would make you shut down all hope? Tell us in the comments!
News
‘Courtney Gets Possessed’ Looks Like The Satanic BFF Comedy of 2023
So your ex is the Devil himself and you’ve moved on to someone new. In fact, you are about to marry that person. But Satan is the jealous type and isn’t giving his blessing to this new arrangement. What to do? That is the premise of the new horror comedy Courtney Gets Possessed.
Just by watching the trailer, we get a sense this is a comedy about girl power and we love that. Last year My Best Friend’s Exorcism focused on one friend trying to eject a demon from her girlfriend’s soul, but in this movie, it looks like a whole wedding party gets involved.
I do!
The Plot:
With her nuptials on the line and the Prince of Darkness lurking close by, Courtney does her best to protect her childhood home on the eve of the wedding. But when her ne’er-do-well sister accidentally invites Satan inside (known more casually as Dave), he possesses Courtney – throwing a demonic wrench into her happily-ever-after plans. Courtney’s ragtag team of reluctant heroes including her sister, perfectionist best friend, and skeptical future sister-in-law must find a way to exorcise Dave, reclaim Courtney’s soul, and get her down the aisle with as little bloodshed as possible.
“In Sickness and in Hell” takes on a whole new meaning in this diabolically fun and thrilling romp. Audiences will be left pondering the line between love and possession and what it means to give ourselves to others. Will Courtney’s wedding bells ring or will they be drowned out by the screams of the damned?
Courtney Gets Possessed is written and directed by Jono Mitchell and Madison Hatfield. Produced by Hatfield and Jordan Blair Brown. Executive Produced by Stephen Beehler, Jegor Jersov, and Jono Mitchell. Cinematography by Brett A. Frager. Composed by Jordan Bennett. A Peach Jam Pictures production.
Courtney Gets Possessed will be available on digital and on Demand, Friday, November 3.
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Vomit Bags Handed Out in Theaters as ‘Saw X’ is Called Worse Than ‘Terrifier 2’
Remember all the puking folks were doing when Terrifier 2 was released in theaters? It was an incredible amount of social media showing folks tossing their cookies in theaters at the time. For good reason too. If you have seen the film and know what Art the Clown does to a girl in a yellow room, you know that Terrifier 2 wasn’t messing around. But it appears that Saw X is being seen a challenger.
One of the scenes that is apparently bothering folks this time is the one in which a guy has to perform brain surgery on himself in order to hack out a chunk of grey matter that weighs enough for the challenge. The scene is pretty brutal.
The synopsis for Saw X goes like this:
Hoping for a miraculous cure, John Kramer travels to Mexico for a risky and experimental medical procedure, only to discover the entire operation is a scam to defraud the most vulnerable. Armed with a newfound purpose, the infamous serial killer uses deranged and ingenious traps to turn the tables on the con artists.
For me personally, I still think that Terrifier 2 owns this crown though. It is gnarly throughout and Art is brutal and doesn’t have a code or anything. He just loves killin’. While Jigsaw deals in revenge or in ethics. Also, we see the vomit bags, but I haven’t seen anyone using em just yet. So, I’ll remain skeptical.
All in all, I gotta say I like both films since both are sticking with practical effects instead of going the cheapy computer graphics way.
Have you seen Saw X yet? Do you think that it rivals Terrifier 2? Let us know in the comments section.
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Billy Gives a Tour of His Home in ‘SAW X’ MTV Parody
While SAW X dominates in theaters, we here at iHorror are enjoying the promos. One of the best SAW promos that we have seen is hands down the one that features Billy giving us a tour of his home in a MTV parody approach.
The latest SAW film brings back Jigsaw by taking us back into the past and an all-out revenge plan on his Cancer doctors. A group that counts on making money off of sick people messes with the wrong guy and undergoes a whole lot of torture.
“Hoping for a miraculous cure, John Kramer travels to Mexico for a risky and experimental medical procedure, only to discover the entire operation is a scam to defraud the most vulnerable. Armed with a newfound purpose, the infamous serial killer uses deranged and ingenious traps to turn the tables on the con artists.“
SAW X is now playing in theaters. Have you already seen it? Let us know what you thought.
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