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Fan-Made Trailer Depicts ALIEN (1979) as a Comedy

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I didn’t think I’d ever be able to find anything funny about the original Alien film. I was wrong.

This fan-made trailer of the 1979 film shows what could have been if Ridley Scott had decided that Alien was an animal-centered buddy comedy. Although I was skeptical at first, I will fully admit that the trailer made me laugh out loud numerous times. In it, the titular alien isn’t so much of an extraterrestrial as it is a…well, it’s just Jonesy, Ripley’s cat.

You can watch the video below, courtesy of Mashable Watercooler.

By contrast, here’s a trailer for the original Alien film. If nothing else, this Cat-centric trailer is awesome for the fact that it got me to rediscover just how incredible the actual trailer for the film was. It doesn’t even have to have much going on to be overwhelmingly terrifying.

Now, we’ve just got to get someone to make this funny trailer into a full-length movie. I would watch it. I would watch the hell out of that movie. In fact, I have a suggestion.

The modern remake is a very divisive concept among fans, especially horror movie fans. We lament when a remake isn’t scary enough or it changes the source material in a way that tarnishes the original. Here is my idea. Let’s abandon the whole idea of the remake as we currently know it and push for all horror movies to be remade into comedies. This way no one can complain when it’s not scary enough. No one can really moan about how it is too far from the source material because that’s the whole point!

Oh, wait? You don’t like that idea? Yeah, I don’t really, either. The alternative – my proposed alternative – would probably be an incredibly bad idea. So, with that in mind, maybe you should think twice before you become angry over the prospect of a horror remake. They could be much worse.

They could be cat remakes.

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The Tall Man Funko Pop! Is a Reminder of the Late Angus Scrimm

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Phantasm tall man Funko pop

The Funko Pop! brand of figurines is finally paying homage to one of the scariest horror movie villains of all time, The Tall Man from Phantasm. According to Bloody Disgusting the toy was previewed by Funko this week.

The creepy otherworldly protagonist was played by the late Angus Scrimm who passed away in 2016. He was a journalist and B-movie actor who became a horror movie icon in 1979 for his role as the mysterious funeral home owner known as The Tall Man. The Pop! also includes the bloodsucking flying silver orb The Tall Man used as a weapon against trespassers.

Phantasm

He also spoke one of the most iconic lines in independent horror, “Boooy! You play a good game, boy, but the game is finished. Now you die!”

There is no word on when this figurine will be released or when preorders will go on sale, but it’s nice to see this horror icon remembered in vinyl.

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Director of ‘The Loved Ones’ Next Film is a Shark/Serial Killer Movie

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The director of The Loved Ones and The Devil’s Candy is going nautical for his next horror film. Variety is reporting that Sean Byrne is gearing up to make a shark movie but with a twist.

This film titled Dangerous Animals, takes place on a boat where a woman named Zephyr (Hassie Harrison), according to Variety, is “Held captive on his boat, she must figure out how to escape before he carries out a ritualistic feeding to the sharks below. The only person who realizes she is missing is new love interest Moses (Hueston), who goes looking for Zephyr, only to be caught by the deranged murderer as well.”

Nick Lepard writes it, and filming will begin on the Australian Gold Coast on May 7.

Dangerous Animals will get a spot at Cannes according to David Garrett from Mister Smith Entertainment. He says, “‘Dangerous Animals’ is a super-intense and gripping story of survival, in the face of an unimaginably malevolent predator. In a clever melding of the serial killer and shark movie genres, it makes the shark look like the nice guy,”

Shark movies will probably always be a mainstay in the horror genre. None have ever really succeeded in the level of scariness reached by Jaws, but since Byrne uses a lot of body horror and intriguing images in his works Dangerous Animals might be an exception.

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PG-13 Rated ‘Tarot’ Underperforms at the Box Office

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Tarot starts off the summer horror box office season with a whimper. Scary movies like these are usually a fall offering so why Sony decided to make Tarot a summer contender is questionable. Since Sony uses Netflix as their VOD platform now maybe people are waiting to stream it for free even though both critic and audience scores were very low, a death sentence to a theatrical release. 

Although it was a fast death — the movie brought in $6.5 million domestically and an additional $3.7 million globally, enough to recoup its budget — word of mouth might have been enough to convince moviegoers to make their popcorn at home for this one. 

Tarot

Another factor in its demise might be its MPAA rating; PG-13. Moderate fans of horror can handle fare that falls under this rating, but hardcore viewers who fuel the box office in this genre, prefer an R. Anything less rarely does well unless James Wan is at the helm or that infrequent occurrence like The Ring. It might be because the PG-13 viewer will wait for streaming while an R generates enough interest to open a weekend.

And let’s not forget that Tarot might just be bad. Nothing offends a horror fan quicker than a shopworn trope unless it’s a new take. But some genre YouTube critics say Tarot suffers from boilerplate syndrome; taking a basic premise and recycling it hoping people won’t notice.

But all is not lost, 2024 has a lot more horror movie offerings coming this summer. In the coming months, we will get Cuckoo (April 8), Longlegs (July 12), A Quiet Place: Part One (June 28), and the new M. Night Shyamalan thriller Trap (August 9).

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