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Exfoliate Like a Psycho with Bateman Skincare Products

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“My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.”

To fans of the modern horror classic American Psycho, the above is but one of several memorable monologues uttered by lead character Patrick Bateman (Christian Bale). While the film itself does not 100% clarify whether Bateman’s murders were real or simply the fantasies of a man that had been mentally broken by his unfulfilling existence, one thing that isn’t really up for debate is that he is – at least on the surface level – an impeccably cool guy. He wears tailored suits, he drives fancy cars, he has a beautiful apartment, and he eats at only the finest restaurants. At least when a reservation to Dorsia is available.

Bateman Skincare

Clearly seeking to capitalize on the outward marketability of Bateman’s persona is the company Bateman Skincare. While the Bateman Skincare product line does not appear to be officially tied to American Psycho, it is quite clearly inspired by the film, as one can see with even a cursory glance at their website.

The three products they currently sell are a Rose Hip + Seaweed Facial Cleanser, a Daily Hyaluronic Cream, and a Daily Hyaluronic Serum. I’m not entirely sure what all of those things are, but I assume Patrick would approve, as he’s far more sophisticated than I. Now if only there were a way to complete one’s psychical transformation into Bateman that didn’t require spending hours at the gym every day doing ab exercises.

Bateman Skincare

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Movies

PG-13 Rated ‘Tarot’ Underperforms at the Box Office

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Tarot starts off the summer horror box office season with a whimper. Scary movies like these are usually a fall offering so why Sony decided to make Tarot a summer contender is questionable. Since Sony uses Netflix as their VOD platform now maybe people are waiting to stream it for free even though both critic and audience scores were very low, a death sentence to a theatrical release. 

Although it was a fast death — the movie brought in $6.5 million domestically and an additional $3.7 million globally, enough to recoup its budget — word of mouth might have been enough to convince moviegoers to make their popcorn at home for this one. 

Tarot

Another factor in its demise might be its MPAA rating; PG-13. Moderate fans of horror can handle fare that falls under this rating, but hardcore viewers who fuel the box office in this genre, prefer an R. Anything less rarely does well unless James Wan is at the helm or that infrequent occurrence like The Ring. It might be because the PG-13 viewer will wait for streaming while an R generates enough interest to open a weekend.

And let’s not forget that Tarot might just be bad. Nothing offends a horror fan quicker than a shopworn trope unless it’s a new take. But some genre YouTube critics say Tarot suffers from boilerplate syndrome; taking a basic premise and recycling it hoping people won’t notice.

But all is not lost, 2024 has a lot more horror movie offerings coming this summer. In the coming months, we will get Cuckoo (April 8), Longlegs (July 12), A Quiet Place: Part One (June 28), and the new M. Night Shyamalan thriller Trap (August 9).

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Movies

‘Abigail’ Dances Her Way To Digital This Week

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Abigail is sinking her teeth into digital rental this week. Starting on May 7, you can own this, the latest movie from Radio Silence. Directors Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillet elevate the vampire genre challenging expectations at every blood-stained corner.

The film stars Melissa Barrera (Scream VIIn The Heights), Kathryn Newton (Ant-Man and the Wasp: QuantumaniaFreakyLisa Frankenstein), and Alisha Weir as the titular character.

The film currently sits at number nine at the domestic box office and has an audience score of 85%. Many have compared the film thematically to Radio Silence’s 2019 home invasion movie Ready or Not: A heist team is hired by a mysterious fixer to kidnap the daughter of a powerful underworld figure. They must guard the 12-year-old ballerina for one night to net a $50 million ransom. As the captors start to dwindle one by one, they discover to their mounting terror that they’re locked inside an isolated mansion with no ordinary little girl.”

Radio Silence is said to be switching gears from horror to comedy in their next project. Deadline reports that the team will be helming an Andy Samberg comedy about robots.

Abigail will be available to rent or own on digital starting May 7.

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Editorial

Yay or Nay: What’s Good and Bad in Horror This Week

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Horror Movies

Welcome to Yay or Nay a weekly mini post about what I think is good and bad news in the horror community written in bite-sized chunks. 

Yay:

Mike Flanagan talking about directing the next chapter in the Exorcist trilogy. That might mean he saw the last one and realized there were two left and if he does anything well it’s draw out a story. 

Yay:

To the announcement of a new IP-based film Mickey Vs Winnie. It’s fun to read comical hot takes from people who haven’t even seen the movie yet.

Nay:

The new Faces of Death reboot gets an R rating. It’s not really fair — Gen-Z should get an unrated version like past generations so they can question their mortality the same as the rest of us did. 

Yay:

Russell Crowe is doing another possession movie. He’s quickly becoming another Nic Cage by saying yes to every script, bringing the magic back to B-movies, and more money into VOD. 

Nay:

Putting The Crow back in theaters for its 30th anniversary. Re-releasing classic movies at the cinema to celebrate a milestone is perfectly fine, but doing so when the lead actor in that film was killed on set due to neglect is a cash grab of the worst kind. 

The Crow
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