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Remake Double Take: Poltergeist 1982 vs 2015

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Poltergeist

It seems like every time we turn around, some horror movie is being remade for whatever reason. But are the remakes ever any good? I decided to start Remake Double Take, a series that pits tried and true classics against their remakes. For my first edition, I thought I would review a perfect example of how modern remakes can get it horribly wrong. You may feel differently about the 2015 remake, but personally I think it doesn’t hold a candle to 1982’s Poltergeist.

Poltergeist is one of my favorite movies. I’ll just put that out there. So with the recent and tragic passing of director Tobe Hooper, now seemed like the perfect time to revisit one of his classics. And full disclosure, I hate the remake. I think it’s sloppy, it’s stupid, and frankly it tries way too hard. Now, again, this is all my own opinion, so bear with me here while I explain my arguments.

via Disqus

1982’s Poltergeist opens with a close-up of the TV playing the Star Spangled Banner before cutting to harsh static. The camera follows the family dog to carry us through the quiet house, passing through rooms where everyone is peacefully asleep. It sets up an intimacy with the audience; we feel like we’re an observer in the lives of the family on screen.

Young Carol Anne gets up from bed and creeps downstairs. She is drawn to the TV, having a loud conversation with an unknown entity, which wakes up the family to all come and observe this odd behavior. This is great for two reasons. It shows the family as a unit, presenting a united front, and it allows all characters to see this preliminary interaction so that everyone is an informed participant in the strange events to follow.

via Deep Focus Review

Now, let’s compare with the 2015 remake. We open on a close-up of a violent horror video game, then pan out to see that it’s played by the son while in the car with his family. There’s some banter that’s meant to communicate that they’re a fun, normal family, but it’s just awkward. They arrive at the new house where the kids run off to – I don’t know, be kids I guess – while the parents meet with the real estate agent.

The agent asks the father, Eric (Sam Rockwell, who can do better than this), what he does for a living, he says that he works at (a shameless product placement for) John Deere. The agent praises their tractors (again it’s super awkward) and Eric responds that he “would be very flattered right now if he hadn’t got laid off”.

via Turn The Right Corner

I’m sorry, but what? That’s not how conversations work. You can’t say “I’m dating John, but he dumped me”. See how dumb that sounds? This writer can’t dialogue. The scene is designed to provide the information that this is a move out of necessity due to their economic position, but there’s a much better way to write that.

Anyways, the son, Griffin, wanders through the house and finds the youngest daughter, Madison, talking to her closed closet door. And at 6 minutes and 28 seconds in, we have our first attempted jump scare. Because nothing sets up a scary movie like premature jump scares. Of course, Griffin is the only one who observes this strange exchange, and it’s easily attributed to kids just being weird.

via Minnesota Connected

Which does the film a huge disservice. I understand that they’re trying to slowly sink into the waters of “horror” here, but by wasting so much time with needless exposition and awkward character moments, it completely misses the opportunity to build atmosphere. It just kind of underhand tosses in this “creepy” scene, then does nothing with it until the situation full on explodes several scenes later.

One of the greatest things about the 1982 film is the portrayal of the family. The parents have a wonderful chemistry with each other and with their kids. Steve (Craig T Nelson) and Dianne (JoBeth Williams) end the day be retiring to their bedroom to unwind as a unit, and when shit hits the fan they completely support each other. Total relationship goals.

via LightsCameraVegan

In contrast, 2015’s Poltergeist shows a shallow connection between Eric and Amy (Rosemarie DeWitt), and they don’t actually have any strong bond with their children. Eric tries to buy their affection with lavish gifts – using money they don’t have – and plays a passive role in the actual parenting. When young Madison is taken by the entities, the family gathers and attempts to contact her with help from Dr. Powell (Jane Adams). Once they finally hear her voice, their reaction is… not convincing at all.  I mean, overall the acting in the remake is really, really weak, so it’s very hard to actually give a shit about any of the terrible characters.

The same scene from the original shows true skill from JoBeth Williams. You can feel her relief, mixed with devastating horror. It’s beautiful.

When it comes time to rescue their young daughter from the other side, 1982’s Poltergeist sends Dianne to cross over and save her. It’s a heartwarming statement on the power of a mother’s love; Dianne is a strong, capable character who would do anything for her children. The whole team bands together to physically hold the rope that connects Dianne to the safety of home.

via WordPress

In the remake, the rescue is performed by the son – Griffin – which… is stupid. Now, there’s a whole storyline about how Griffin is afraid of the dark and he’s anxious about life in general, so, sure, let’s empower the kid. But frankly, that whole bit is completely unnecessary, and it undermines the role of the parents in a big way. Also, they trust a wall anchor with the safety of their children, so…

Speaking of the children (won’t somebody please think of the children), there’s the clown doll. The doll in the original Poltergeist is mostly normal, so when he transforms, it’s terrifying. The remake tries way too goddamn hard to make it scary.

On that note, everyone knows that clowns can be pretty damn creepy, so when your already skittish child finds a box full of clown dolls in a crawlspace in their attic/bedroom, maybe – and this is just a thought – get rid of them?

via Forces of Geek

Also, just to note this, when the possessed tree bursts in through the window in Poltergeist, it’s genuinely scary. In the remake, the tree impossibly snakes through the house – through a room and down the hall – to grab young Griffin and drag him out the window. It’s absurd and it just looks silly.

Once the family escapes, the original Poltergeist ends with the iconic implosion of the house. It’s tidy, it’s final, and it shows that they just narrowly avoided the same fate. In the remake, just as the family loads into the van, convinced that their nightmare is over, the house pulls the van in through the wall of the house like a goddamn mechanical Kool-Aid man.

via Giphy

The big reveal that they “left the bodies but only moved the headstones” is dropped casually mid-conversation in the remake. The whole power of that scene is not even on the radar. And there’s CGI skeletons. Lord help me.

Lastly, Zelda fucking Rubinstein is way better than some bullshit romantic subplot. And that stupid #thishouseisclean reality show. Ugh.

via Giphy

Basically, I feel like the writer and director of the remake didn’t know anything about the original Poltergeist. I’m pretty sure they just saw some screenshots and read the plot description. It may have the skeleton of the original film, but it has none of the heart.

While the original has themes about family and the lack of morality from the housing developers, the remake crams in a bunch of cheap jump scares and updated technology (drones are so hip, you guys).

In conclusion, I hate it, and the original is untouchable in my books. Now, I need a drink.

Stay tuned for more ramblings about movies that deserved better, here on Remake Double Take.

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Panic Fest 2024 Review: ‘The Ceremony Is About To Begin’

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People will look for answers and belonging in the darkest places and the darkest people. The Osiris Collective is a commune predicated upon ancient Egyptian theology and was run by the mysterious Father Osiris. The group boasted dozens of members, each forgoing their old lives for one held in the Egyptian themed land owned by Osiris in Northern California. But the good times take a turn for the worst when in 2018, an upstart member of the collective named Anubis (Chad Westbrook Hinds) reports Osiris disappearing while mountain climbing and declaring himself the new leader. A schism ensued with many members leaving the cult under Anubis’ unhinged leadership. A documentary is being made by a young man named Keith (John Laird) whose fixation with The Osiris Collective stems from his girlfriend Maddy leaving him for the group several years ago. When Keith gets invited to document the commune by Anubis himself, he decides to investigate, only to get wrapped up in horrors he couldn’t even imagine…

The Ceremony Is About To Begin is the latest genre twisting horror film from Red Snow‘s Sean Nichols Lynch. This time tackling cultist horror along with a mockumentary style and the Egyptian mythology theme for the cherry on top. I was a big fan of Red Snow‘s subversiveness of the vampire romance sub-genre and was excited to see what this take would bring. While the movie has some interesting ideas and a decent tension between the meek Keith and the erratic Anubis, it just doesn’t exactly thread everything together in a succinct fashion.

The story begins with a true crime documentary style interviewing former members of The Osiris Collective and sets-up what led the cult to where it is now. This aspect of the storyline, especially Keith’s own personal interest in the cult, made it an interesting plotline. But aside from some clips later on, it doesn’t play as much a factor. The focus is largely on the dynamic between Anubis and Keith, which is toxic to put it lightly. Interestingly, Chad Westbrook Hinds and John Lairds are both credited as writers on The Ceremony Is About To Begin and definitely feel like they’re putting their all into these characters. Anubis is the very definition of a cult leader. Charismatic, philosophical, whimsical, and threateningly dangerous at the drop of a hat.

Yet strangely, the commune is deserted of all cult members. Creating a ghost town that only amps up the danger as Keith documents Anubis’ alleged utopia. A lot of the back and forth between them drags at times as they struggle for control and Anubis keeps continuing to convince Keith to stick around despite the threatening situation. This does lead to a pretty fun and bloody finale that fully leans into mummy horror.

Overall, despite meandering and having a bit of a slow pace, The ceremony Is About To Begin is a fairly entertaining cult, found footage, and mummy horror hybrid. If you want mummies, it delivers on mummies!

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“Mickey Vs. Winnie”: Iconic Childhood Characters Collide in A Terrifying Versus Slasher

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iHorror is diving deep into film production with a chilling new project that’s sure to redefine your childhood memories. We’re thrilled to introduce ‘Mickey vs. Winnie,’ a groundbreaking horror slasher directed by Glenn Douglas Packard. This isn’t just any horror slasher; it’s a visceral showdown between twisted versions of childhood favorites Mickey Mouse and Winnie-the-Pooh. ‘Mickey vs. Winnie’ brings together the now-public-domain characters from A. A. Milne’s ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’ books and Mickey Mouse from the 1920s ‘Steamboat Willie’ cartoon in a VS battle like never before seen.

Mickey VS Winnie
Mickey VS Winnie Poster

Set in the 1920s, the plot kicks off with a disturbing narrative about two convicts who escape into a cursed forest, only to be swallowed by its dark essence. Fast forward a hundred years, and the story picks up with a group of thrill-seeking friends whose nature getaway goes horribly wrong. They accidentally venture into the same cursed woods, finding themselves face-to-face with the now monstrous versions of Mickey and Winnie. What follows is a night filled with terror, as these beloved characters mutate into horrifying adversaries, unleashing a frenzy of violence and bloodshed.

Glenn Douglas Packard, an Emmy-nominated choreographer turned filmmaker known for his work on “Pitchfork,” brings a unique creative vision to this film. Packard describes “Mickey vs. Winnie” as a tribute to horror fans’ love for iconic crossovers, which often remain just a fantasy due to licensing restrictions. “Our film celebrates the thrill of combining legendary characters in unexpected ways, serving up a nightmarish yet exhilarating cinematic experience,” says Packard.

Produced by Packard and his creative partner Rachel Carter under the Untouchables Entertainment banner, and our very own Anthony Pernicka, founder of iHorror, “Mickey vs. Winnie” promises to deliver an entirely new take on these iconic figures. “Forget what you know about Mickey and Winnie,” Pernicka enthuses. “Our film portrays these characters not as mere masked figures but as transformed, live-action horrors that merge innocence with malevolence. The intense scenes crafted for this movie will change how you see these characters forever.”

Currently underway in Michigan, the production of “Mickey vs. Winnie” is a testament to pushing boundaries, which horror loves to do. As iHorror ventures into producing our own films, we’re excited to share this thrilling, terrifying journey with you, our loyal audience. Stay tuned for more updates as we continue to transform the familiar into the frightful in ways you’ve never imagined.

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Mike Flanagan Comes Aboard To Assist in Completion of ‘Shelby Oaks’

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shelby oaks

If you have been following Chris Stuckmann on YouTube you are aware of the struggles he has had getting his horror movie Shelby Oaks finished. But there’s good news about the project today. Director Mike Flanagan (Ouija: Origin Of Evil, Doctor Sleep and The Haunting) is backing the film as a co-executive producer which might bring it much closer to being released. Flanagan is a part of the collective Intrepid Pictures which also includes Trevor Macy and Melinda Nishioka.

Shelby Oaks
Shelby Oaks

Stuckmann is a YouTube movie critic who’s been on the platform for over a decade. He came under some scrutiny for announcing on his channel two years ago that he would no longer be reviewing films negatively. However contrary to that statement, he did a non-review essay of the panned Madame Web recently saying, that studios strong-arm directors to make films just for the sake of keeping failing franchises alive. It seemed like a critique disguised as a discussion video.

But Stuckmann has his own movie to worry about. In one of Kickstarter’s most successful campaigns, he managed to raise over $1 million for his debut feature film Shelby Oaks which now sits in post-production. 

Hopefully, with Flanagan and Intrepid’s help, the road to Shelby Oak’s completion is reaching its end. 

“It’s been inspiring to watch Chris working toward his dreams over the past few years, and the tenacity and DIY spirit he displayed while bringing Shelby Oaks to life reminded me so much of my own journey over a decade ago,” Flanagan told Deadline. “It’s been an honor to walk a few steps with him on his path, and to offer support for Chris’ vision for his ambitious, unique movie. I can’t wait to see where he goes from here.”

Stuckmann says Intrepid Pictures has inspired him for years and, “it’s a dream come true to work with Mike and Trevor on my first feature.”

Producer Aaron B. Koontz of Paper Street Pictures has been working with Stuckmann since the beginning is also excited about the collaboration.

“For a film that had such a hard time getting going, it’s remarkable the doors that then opened to us,” said Koontz. “The success of our Kickstarter followed by the on-going leadership and guidance from Mike, Trevor, and Melinda is beyond anything I could have hoped for.”

Deadline describes the plot of Shelby Oaks as follows:

“A combination of documentary, found footage, and traditional film footage styles, Shelby Oaks centers on Mia’s (Camille Sullivan) frantic search for her sister, Riley, (Sarah Durn) who ominously disappeared in the last tape of her “Paranormal Paranoids” investigative series. As Mia’s obsession grows, she begins to suspect that the imaginary demon from Riley’s childhood may have been real.”

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