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Writers’ Picks: Best of “MST3K” to Tide You Over Until the Premier

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It’s almost here, guys!!!! Less than two weeks left before the return of our favorite bots, mads and shitty movies. In a matter of days, MST3K makes its long awaited return.

I can’t tell you how excited I am. I have no idea when I first fell in love with the show but fell I did and hard. I know some people are Team Joel and some are Team Mike, but I truly never cared. I loved them both and the chemistry between them both and Gypsy, Cambot, Tom Servo and Croooooooooow (admit that you sung that in your head…admit it) were equally as wonderful.

I have gotten together my own ragtag group from the iHorror team to pick out the absolute must see episodes before the new season premiers. So hold onto your gears, get your snarky commentary ready, and lets countdown.

6,5,4,3,2,1…and showtime.

The Horrors of Spider Island Season 10, Episode 11

MST3K

(Image credit: torrentbutler.com)

A troupe of Go-Go dancers and their manager (somehow) survive a plane crash on their way from New York to Singapore, and wash ashore on an island inhabited by a mutated spider… Traditionally I’m more of a Joel man when it comes to MST3K, but there’s just something about The Horrors of Spider Island that I just love; it is that sort of random film (go-go dancers attacked by a spider/man/beast in between parties and naked swimming) that only the 1960s could produce. Mike, Tom Servo, and Crow are in excellent form throughout, but as with the very best MST3K episodes, the fact that movie itself is weirdly entertaining (with it’s awful dubbing out of the original German) and provides an excellent counterbalance to the lads riffing (or just reminding us every once in a while that we’re watching The Horrors of Spider Island…a film whose title is…about 30% accurate: they are on an island).

-Shaun Cordingley

MST3K

(Image credit: giphy.com)

The Final Sacrifice Season 9, Episode 10

MST3K

(Image credit: pinterest.com)

The epic, low-budget, Canadian adventure of a lifetime! It follows young nerd Troy McGreggor as he attempts to follow in his long since dead archaeologist father’s footsteps. Finding himself on the run from a ridiculously deep voiced cult leader named Satoris, and his army of ski-mask wearing, chainsaw-wielding thugs, he teams up with Canada’s greatest heroes: ZAP ROWSDOWER. A beer swilling, mulletted loner who may have had a hand in Troy’s father’s death. Together they must find the ancient Ziox civilization and bring peace to Alberta! Highlights include the low-budget car chases, Canadian cultists, and hysterical riffs on Zap’s drinking. Including the immortal line “I wonder if there’s beer on the sun?” And featuring Pipper, the most dangnabbed, rootin-tootin, Yosemite Sam, prospector type ever.

-Jacob Davison

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYoheSI7Dbc

 

Werewolf Season 9, Episode 4

MST3K

(Image credit: blumhouse.com)

This movie is a hell of a good time and stars the lesser (way lesser) known Estevez, Joe Estevez. A group of archeologists discover a mythical Native American werewolf creature buried in the desert. With as many people that turn in this movie, you’d think this thing would be alive but, no. In various ways, people just tend to fall on the bones and get scratched and Bada Bing Bada Boom… werewolf. The acting is atrocious and the story is mediocre and I LOVE it. There is less expression in the faces of the actors than the waiting room of a plastic surgeon’s office.The Snark Patrol is on point with their commentary and it makes for a thoroughly enjoyable experience. You will never look at bugles the same way again. Plus, there’s that Estevez. That makes it a hit, right?

-D.D. Crowley

 

The Pumaman Season 9, Episode 3

MST3K

(Image credit: basils.blogspot.com)

I think I might be biased about this one for one reason: I’m a huge John Carpenter’s Halloween fan. Pumaman is NOTHING like Halloween but they do share a common element…Donald Pleasence. Oh, yes. A movie about an ancient Aztec mask that turns that which is destined to receive its powers into PUMAMAN! “Who is Pumaman?” you ask. A guy in a bedazzled shirt and cape that KINDA flies and is a descendant of an Aztec go. This is special.I’m not sure if it’s the effects,the acting or the fact the Aztec shaman tests randos to see if they’re Pumaman by tossing them out of windows. And I’m not sure what made Pleasence join the crew of this little LSD trip, but I’m glad he did. Plus, I love it when the leading ladies have a severe case of crazy eyes.

-D.D. Crowley

Soultaker Season 10, Episode 1

MST3K

(Image credit: mst3k.wikia.com)

Oh, hell. It’s Joe Estevez again. He “stars” in this movie (“Does anything really star Joe Estevez?”) as a Soultaker in charge of taking the souls of four teenagers that die in a car accident. The movie is the epitome of a 1990’s terrible movie. The dialogue sounds like something your pain in the ass 9-year-old brother would write and the music is music in the technical term. The movie is terrible but this has got some of the best commentary I’ve seen from Mike, Tom Servo and Crow. I don’t think there’s a part of the movie that I wasn’t howling with laughter. Soultaker led the last season of MST3K and included a visit from Joel to the S.O.L. which was a special and emotional little treat for viewers.

-D.D. Crowley

MST3K

(Image credit: pinterest.com)

Don’t limit yourself to just these five before the premier. There are too many to go over but some other beloved episodes are Pod People, Mitchell, Merlin’s Shop of Mythical Wonders, Eegah and many, many others. Most subscription move and TV streaming services offer a limited title of the series and MST3K returns to Netflix April 14th for a brand new season of bad movies, great commentary and new mads.

While you’re here, check out the new line up of episodes of MST3K that Netflix added. And check out Felicia Day and Patten Oswalt as the new mads here!

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Movie Reviews

Panic Fest 2024 Review: ‘The Ceremony Is About To Begin’

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People will look for answers and belonging in the darkest places and the darkest people. The Osiris Collective is a commune predicated upon ancient Egyptian theology and was run by the mysterious Father Osiris. The group boasted dozens of members, each forgoing their old lives for one held in the Egyptian themed land owned by Osiris in Northern California. But the good times take a turn for the worst when in 2018, an upstart member of the collective named Anubis (Chad Westbrook Hinds) reports Osiris disappearing while mountain climbing and declaring himself the new leader. A schism ensued with many members leaving the cult under Anubis’ unhinged leadership. A documentary is being made by a young man named Keith (John Laird) whose fixation with The Osiris Collective stems from his girlfriend Maddy leaving him for the group several years ago. When Keith gets invited to document the commune by Anubis himself, he decides to investigate, only to get wrapped up in horrors he couldn’t even imagine…

The Ceremony Is About To Begin is the latest genre twisting horror film from Red Snow‘s Sean Nichols Lynch. This time tackling cultist horror along with a mockumentary style and the Egyptian mythology theme for the cherry on top. I was a big fan of Red Snow‘s subversiveness of the vampire romance sub-genre and was excited to see what this take would bring. While the movie has some interesting ideas and a decent tension between the meek Keith and the erratic Anubis, it just doesn’t exactly thread everything together in a succinct fashion.

The story begins with a true crime documentary style interviewing former members of The Osiris Collective and sets-up what led the cult to where it is now. This aspect of the storyline, especially Keith’s own personal interest in the cult, made it an interesting plotline. But aside from some clips later on, it doesn’t play as much a factor. The focus is largely on the dynamic between Anubis and Keith, which is toxic to put it lightly. Interestingly, Chad Westbrook Hinds and John Lairds are both credited as writers on The Ceremony Is About To Begin and definitely feel like they’re putting their all into these characters. Anubis is the very definition of a cult leader. Charismatic, philosophical, whimsical, and threateningly dangerous at the drop of a hat.

Yet strangely, the commune is deserted of all cult members. Creating a ghost town that only amps up the danger as Keith documents Anubis’ alleged utopia. A lot of the back and forth between them drags at times as they struggle for control and Anubis keeps continuing to convince Keith to stick around despite the threatening situation. This does lead to a pretty fun and bloody finale that fully leans into mummy horror.

Overall, despite meandering and having a bit of a slow pace, The ceremony Is About To Begin is a fairly entertaining cult, found footage, and mummy horror hybrid. If you want mummies, it delivers on mummies!

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“Mickey Vs. Winnie”: Iconic Childhood Characters Collide in A Terrifying Versus Slasher

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iHorror is diving deep into film production with a chilling new project that’s sure to redefine your childhood memories. We’re thrilled to introduce ‘Mickey vs. Winnie,’ a groundbreaking horror slasher directed by Glenn Douglas Packard. This isn’t just any horror slasher; it’s a visceral showdown between twisted versions of childhood favorites Mickey Mouse and Winnie-the-Pooh. ‘Mickey vs. Winnie’ brings together the now-public-domain characters from A. A. Milne’s ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’ books and Mickey Mouse from the 1920s ‘Steamboat Willie’ cartoon in a VS battle like never before seen.

Mickey VS Winnie
Mickey VS Winnie Poster

Set in the 1920s, the plot kicks off with a disturbing narrative about two convicts who escape into a cursed forest, only to be swallowed by its dark essence. Fast forward a hundred years, and the story picks up with a group of thrill-seeking friends whose nature getaway goes horribly wrong. They accidentally venture into the same cursed woods, finding themselves face-to-face with the now monstrous versions of Mickey and Winnie. What follows is a night filled with terror, as these beloved characters mutate into horrifying adversaries, unleashing a frenzy of violence and bloodshed.

Glenn Douglas Packard, an Emmy-nominated choreographer turned filmmaker known for his work on “Pitchfork,” brings a unique creative vision to this film. Packard describes “Mickey vs. Winnie” as a tribute to horror fans’ love for iconic crossovers, which often remain just a fantasy due to licensing restrictions. “Our film celebrates the thrill of combining legendary characters in unexpected ways, serving up a nightmarish yet exhilarating cinematic experience,” says Packard.

Produced by Packard and his creative partner Rachel Carter under the Untouchables Entertainment banner, and our very own Anthony Pernicka, founder of iHorror, “Mickey vs. Winnie” promises to deliver an entirely new take on these iconic figures. “Forget what you know about Mickey and Winnie,” Pernicka enthuses. “Our film portrays these characters not as mere masked figures but as transformed, live-action horrors that merge innocence with malevolence. The intense scenes crafted for this movie will change how you see these characters forever.”

Currently underway in Michigan, the production of “Mickey vs. Winnie” is a testament to pushing boundaries, which horror loves to do. As iHorror ventures into producing our own films, we’re excited to share this thrilling, terrifying journey with you, our loyal audience. Stay tuned for more updates as we continue to transform the familiar into the frightful in ways you’ve never imagined.

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Movies

Mike Flanagan Comes Aboard To Assist in Completion of ‘Shelby Oaks’

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shelby oaks

If you have been following Chris Stuckmann on YouTube you are aware of the struggles he has had getting his horror movie Shelby Oaks finished. But there’s good news about the project today. Director Mike Flanagan (Ouija: Origin Of Evil, Doctor Sleep and The Haunting) is backing the film as a co-executive producer which might bring it much closer to being released. Flanagan is a part of the collective Intrepid Pictures which also includes Trevor Macy and Melinda Nishioka.

Shelby Oaks
Shelby Oaks

Stuckmann is a YouTube movie critic who’s been on the platform for over a decade. He came under some scrutiny for announcing on his channel two years ago that he would no longer be reviewing films negatively. However contrary to that statement, he did a non-review essay of the panned Madame Web recently saying, that studios strong-arm directors to make films just for the sake of keeping failing franchises alive. It seemed like a critique disguised as a discussion video.

But Stuckmann has his own movie to worry about. In one of Kickstarter’s most successful campaigns, he managed to raise over $1 million for his debut feature film Shelby Oaks which now sits in post-production. 

Hopefully, with Flanagan and Intrepid’s help, the road to Shelby Oak’s completion is reaching its end. 

“It’s been inspiring to watch Chris working toward his dreams over the past few years, and the tenacity and DIY spirit he displayed while bringing Shelby Oaks to life reminded me so much of my own journey over a decade ago,” Flanagan told Deadline. “It’s been an honor to walk a few steps with him on his path, and to offer support for Chris’ vision for his ambitious, unique movie. I can’t wait to see where he goes from here.”

Stuckmann says Intrepid Pictures has inspired him for years and, “it’s a dream come true to work with Mike and Trevor on my first feature.”

Producer Aaron B. Koontz of Paper Street Pictures has been working with Stuckmann since the beginning is also excited about the collaboration.

“For a film that had such a hard time getting going, it’s remarkable the doors that then opened to us,” said Koontz. “The success of our Kickstarter followed by the on-going leadership and guidance from Mike, Trevor, and Melinda is beyond anything I could have hoped for.”

Deadline describes the plot of Shelby Oaks as follows:

“A combination of documentary, found footage, and traditional film footage styles, Shelby Oaks centers on Mia’s (Camille Sullivan) frantic search for her sister, Riley, (Sarah Durn) who ominously disappeared in the last tape of her “Paranormal Paranoids” investigative series. As Mia’s obsession grows, she begins to suspect that the imaginary demon from Riley’s childhood may have been real.”

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