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Happy Father’s Day with Tales From the Crypt Most F*cked Up Episode Ever!

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Written by Patti Pauley

Father’s Day is upon us once again where we celebrate the initial life-sparker of our little existences. And throughout the genre when it comes to horror films, evil paternal units are an abundant source for the center of storytelling. From Jack Torrance to Jerry Blake, the visual of a father gone insane is something we’ve seen time and again in the past few decades of the horror movie. And somehow, it just never get’s old.

If you’ve never seen this particular episode, SKIP THE ARTICLE and scroll down to the video. *MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT.

We all remember films like The Stepfather and Creepshow honoring thy father in the most twisted ways imaginable. However, as cringing as the psychological terror that fuels such movies, HBO’s Tales From the Crypt gave us the most fucked up primetime spectacle touching on the subject of fatherhood I had ever seen on the small screen. Albeit the whole father bit was the surprise twist in the end, but that’s what makes it SOO messed up.

The second season of the largely popular late-night program hosted by the faithfully ghoulish Crypt Keeper gave us consistently amazing episodes one after another, and the tale of terror in question here “Three’s A Crowd”, was no exception to both awesomeness and cringe-worthy midnight viewings.

“Three’s a Crowd” revolves around husband and wife Richard and Della’s strained marriage and an effort to repair what was once a fairy tale romance. Richard is slowly spiraling into a life of alcoholism and depression due to money issues and the couple’s ongoing troubles with conceiving a child. In his convoluted mind, Richard has the nagging thought that he’s loving wife will leave him due to his low sperm count. So he pours the booze as a band-aid to his troubles and giving him an even shittier attitude on top of it.  Richard’s negative outlook on life is beyond soul sucking and quite frankly, it frustrates the hell out of me how Della didn’t just cave and tell her of her plans from the beginning. But of course, where’s the fun in that right?

Moving on, Richard and Della’s old successful friend Alan treats the pair to a lovely getaway to celebrate the pair’s anniversary. While Della is trying to make the most of it, Richard is flinging accusations that his old, and now rich friend Alan and his wife are having an affair. The suspicion is only ignited even further when Alan and Della sneak off together multiple times… alone. On top of a few lavish gifts from Alan to his wife, Richard’s jealousy goes from annoyed to enraged. And that’s when it starts to get ugly.

Richard corners Alan and ultimately kills in a drunken jealous fit and then sets his sight on his wife. Della discovers Alan’s body and attempts to flee in sheer terror. But Richard wants to play cat and mouse with his presumably unfaithful wife. He traps her in a room and strangles her with a piece of lingerie Richard assumes was bought for Alan. As a parting shot to his recently deceased beloved, he drags her over to the departed Alan’s cabin next door to “work on that baby again”.

Uhh. GROSS.

And there it is. He opens the door to the supposed empty cabin with dead wife in tow to a goddamn surprise party in his honor announcing that Richard was going to be a father. The whole trip was designed by Della and Alan to put a smile on the face of a man who was living life day to day slowly sinking further into a deep depression regarding his troubles and inability to care for his lady the way he thinks should be. I guess now that way is dead however.

Seriously, that twist ending revealing that this already broken man who wanted nothing more than to have a happy family with this woman, actually killed his wife who was in fact with child, is fucking gut-wrenching. And teaches an obvious moral lesson of that age old saying, think before you act. Or in much more modern terms, don’t be a dick. Be a dude.

And on that note, I want to wish every hard-working dad out there a very Happy Father’s Day. And a special shout out to my own Hub-beast for putting up with me and our monster children on the daily. Thanks for not ever pulling a Richard on me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qFrwowYLZE

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‘Violent Night’ Director’s Next Project is a Shark Movie

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Sony Pictures is getting in the water with director Tommy Wirkola for his next project; a shark movie. Although no plot details have been revealed, Variety confirms that the movie will start filming in Australia this summer.

Also confirmed is that actress Phoebe Dynevor is circling the project and is in talks to star. She is probably best known for her role as Daphne in the popular Netflix soap Bridgerton.

Dead Snow (2009)

Duo Adam McKay and Kevin Messick (Don’t Look Up, Succession) will produce the new film.

Wirkola is from Norway and utilizes a lot of action in his horror films. One of his first films, Dead Snow (2009), about zombie Nazis, is a cult favorite, and his 2013 action-heavy Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is an entertaining distraction.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

But 2022’s Christmas blood fest Violent Night starring David Harbour made wider audiences familiar with Wirkola. Coupled with favorable reviews and a great CinemaScore, the film became a Yuletide hit.

Insneider first reported this new shark project.

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Why You May NOT Want To Go In Blind Before Watching ‘The Coffee Table’

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You might want to prepare yourself for some things if you plan to watch The Coffee Table now rentable on Prime. We aren’t going to go into any spoilers, but research is your best friend if you are sensitive to intense subject matter.

If you don’t believe us, maybe horror writer Stephen King might convince you. In a tweet he published on May 10, the author says, “There’s a Spanish movie called THE COFFEE TABLE on Amazon Prime and Apple+. My guess is you have never, not once in your whole life, seen a movie as black as this one. It’s horrible and also horribly funny. Think the Coen Brothers’ darkest dream.”

It is hard to talk about the film without giving anything away. Let’s just say there are certain things in horror movies that are generally off the, ahem, table and this film crosses that line in a big way.

The Coffee Table

The very ambiguous synopsis says:

“Jesus (David Pareja) and Maria (Estefanía de los Santos) are a couple going through a difficult time in their relationship. Nevertheless, they have just become parents. To shape their new life, they decide to buy a new coffee table. A decision that will change their existence.”

But there is more to it than that, and the fact that this might be the darkest of all comedies is also a little unsettling. Although it is heavy on the dramatic side too, the core issue is very taboo and might leave certain people sick and disturbed.

What’s worse is that it is an excellent movie. The acting is phenomenal and the suspense, masterclass. Compounding that it’s a Spanish film with subtitles so you have to look at your screen; it’s just evil.

The good news is The Coffee Table isn’t really that gory. Yes, there is blood, but it’s used more as just a reference than a gratuitous opportunity. Still, the mere thought of what this family has to go through is unnerving and I can guess many people will turn it off within the first half-hour.

Director Caye Casas has made a great film that might go down in history as one of the most disturbing ever made. You have been warned.

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Trailer For Shudder’s Latest ‘The Demon Disorder’ Showcases SFX

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It’s always interesting when award-winning special effects artists become directors of horror films. That is the case with The Demon Disorder coming from Steven Boyle who has done work on The Matrix movies, The Hobbit trilogy, and King Kong (2005).

The Demon Disorder is the latest Shudder acquisition as it continues adding high-quality and interesting content to its catalog. The film is the directorial debut of Boyle and he says he is happy that it will become a part of the horror streamer’s library coming fall 2024.

“We are thrilled that The Demon Disorder has reached its final resting place with our friends at Shudder,” said Boyle.  “It’s a community and fanbase that we hold in the highest esteem and we couldn’t be happier to be on this journey with them!”

Shudder echoes Boyle’s thoughts about the film, emphasizing his skill.

“After years of a creating a range of elaborate visual experiences through his work as a special effects designer on iconic films, we’re thrilled to give Steven Boyle a platform for his feature length directorial debut with The Demon Disorder,” said Samuel Zimmerman, Head of Programming for Shudder.  “Full of impressive body horror that fans have come to expect from this master of effects, Boyle’s film is an engrossing story about breaking generational curses that viewers will find both unsettling and amusing.”

The movie is being described as an “Australian family drama” that centers on, “Graham, a man haunted by his past since the death of his father and the estrangement from his two brothers. Jake, the middle brother, contacts Graham claiming that something is horribly wrong: their youngest brother Phillip is possessed by their deceased father. Graham reluctantly agrees to go and see for himself. With the three brothers back together, they soon realize they are unprepared for the forces against them and learn that the sins of their past will not stay hidden. But how do you defeat a presence that knows you inside and out? An anger so powerful it refuses to stay dead?”

The movie stars, John Noble (The Lord of the Rings), Charles CottierChristian Willis, and Dirk Hunter.

Take a look at the trailer below and let us know what you think. The Demon Disorder will begin streaming on Shudder this fall.

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