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MOVE OVER, KRAMPUS: Meet Perchta, the Belly-Slitter!

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Written by Dr. Jose

There is perhaps no better-known Christmastime monster than Krampus, the half-goat, half-demon from Germanic folklore who punishes the children who were bad during the holiday season. He is the anti-Santa. (Anti Claus, if you wanna get cute about it.) He’s big, has horns, and he’s terrifying. Most people are probably familiar with those creepy turn of the century greeting cards that feature him scaring tots while wagging a big, red tongue.

But did you know he has a female equivalent? Her name is Perchta, and I’m here to tell you: she is far, far more scary than Krampus – in fact, she’s downright horrifying.

Hailing from the same West Germanic folklore as Krampus, Perchta has embodied many interpretations over the centuries. In traditional narratives, she was the goddess of Alpine paganism. She was closely associated with the Wild Hunt – a myth involving elves, fairies, and the dead – which spelled certain doom for anyone who witnessed it. Under the designation Frau Perchta, she was thought to be something far more innocuous: a white-robed goddess who oversaw spinning and weaving. However, contemporary culture has rebranded her as something a bit more insidious: a “rewarder of the generous, and the punisher of the bad, particularly lying children“.

Her physical description varies, though none of it pleasant: occasionally she’s been described as an old woman with a very wrinkled face, hook nose, and disheveled appearance. Other times, she’s a shape-shifting beast, with one foot bigger than the other. Perhaps most creepy of all, she’s been described as having two faces: a nice expression for the good children, and a wretched one for the bad.

What really sets her apart from Krampus is her punishment of the naughty ones. Krampus delivered coal and sticks to the children he thought were bad. Perchta? Well…

If you were good, you had nothing to worry about. Come the 12th night of Christmas, Perchta would sneak into the homes of everyone who had been good and worked hard that year and would leave a small silver coin for them. Those who’d been bad, however, would have their bellies slit open – their organs would be removed and replaced with dirt, pebbles, and straw. She also slit open the bellies of those who didn’t feast enough during the holidays; if you weren’t eating, drinking, and being merry, then you were in direct violation of not invoking the holiday spirit and therefore at risk of a slit. And if slitting bellies wasn’t bad enough, she was also known to boil the female yarn-spinners who didn’t get their work done.

Suddenly, coal and sticks don’t sound like such a bad punishment.

These days, Krampus and Perchta have become almost interchangeable, mostly due to the well-known Alpine celebration Krampuslauf (“Krampus run”), the wintertime event where men dress as Krampus and parade through town. Perchta is often also represented during Krampuslauf, but is usually seen wearing very similar attire or almost identical masks to that of Krampus.

If I were them, I’d give Perchta her own distinction. Otherwise, she might get mad. And I wouldn’t want to be on her bad side.

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Editorial

Why You May NOT Want To Go In Blind Before Watching ‘The Coffee Table’

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You might want to prepare yourself for some things if you plan to watch The Coffee Table now rentable on Prime. We aren’t going to go into any spoilers, but research is your best friend if you are sensitive to intense subject matter.

If you don’t believe us, maybe horror writer Stephen King might convince you. In a tweet he published on May 10, the author says, “There’s a Spanish movie called THE COFFEE TABLE on Amazon Prime and Apple+. My guess is you have never, not once in your whole life, seen a movie as black as this one. It’s horrible and also horribly funny. Think the Coen Brothers’ darkest dream.”

It is hard to talk about the film without giving anything away. Let’s just say there are certain things in horror movies that are generally off the, ahem, table and this film crosses that line in a big way.

The Coffee Table

The very ambiguous synopsis says:

“Jesus (David Pareja) and Maria (Estefanía de los Santos) are a couple going through a difficult time in their relationship. Nevertheless, they have just become parents. To shape their new life, they decide to buy a new coffee table. A decision that will change their existence.”

But there is more to it than that, and the fact that this might be the darkest of all comedies is also a little unsettling. Although it is heavy on the dramatic side too, the core issue is very taboo and might leave certain people sick and disturbed.

What’s worse is that it is an excellent movie. The acting is phenomenal and the suspense, masterclass. Compounding that it’s a Spanish film with subtitles so you have to look at your screen; it’s just evil.

The good news is The Coffee Table isn’t really that gory. Yes, there is blood, but it’s used more as just a reference than a gratuitous opportunity. Still, the mere thought of what this family has to go through is unnerving and I can guess many people will turn it off within the first half-hour.

Director Caye Casas has made a great film that might go down in history as one of the most disturbing ever made. You have been warned.

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Movies

Trailer For Shudder’s Latest ‘The Demon Disorder’ Showcases SFX

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It’s always interesting when award-winning special effects artists become directors of horror films. That is the case with The Demon Disorder coming from Steven Boyle who has done work on The Matrix movies, The Hobbit trilogy, and King Kong (2005).

The Demon Disorder is the latest Shudder acquisition as it continues adding high-quality and interesting content to its catalog. The film is the directorial debut of Boyle and he says he is happy that it will become a part of the horror streamer’s library coming fall 2024.

“We are thrilled that The Demon Disorder has reached its final resting place with our friends at Shudder,” said Boyle.  “It’s a community and fanbase that we hold in the highest esteem and we couldn’t be happier to be on this journey with them!”

Shudder echoes Boyle’s thoughts about the film, emphasizing his skill.

“After years of a creating a range of elaborate visual experiences through his work as a special effects designer on iconic films, we’re thrilled to give Steven Boyle a platform for his feature length directorial debut with The Demon Disorder,” said Samuel Zimmerman, Head of Programming for Shudder.  “Full of impressive body horror that fans have come to expect from this master of effects, Boyle’s film is an engrossing story about breaking generational curses that viewers will find both unsettling and amusing.”

The movie is being described as an “Australian family drama” that centers on, “Graham, a man haunted by his past since the death of his father and the estrangement from his two brothers. Jake, the middle brother, contacts Graham claiming that something is horribly wrong: their youngest brother Phillip is possessed by their deceased father. Graham reluctantly agrees to go and see for himself. With the three brothers back together, they soon realize they are unprepared for the forces against them and learn that the sins of their past will not stay hidden. But how do you defeat a presence that knows you inside and out? An anger so powerful it refuses to stay dead?”

The movie stars, John Noble (The Lord of the Rings), Charles CottierChristian Willis, and Dirk Hunter.

Take a look at the trailer below and let us know what you think. The Demon Disorder will begin streaming on Shudder this fall.

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Editorial

Remembering Roger Corman the Independent B-Movie Impresario

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Producer and director Roger Corman has a movie for every generation going back about 70 years. That means horror fans aged 21 and older have probably seen one of his films. Mr. Corman passed away on May 9 at the age of 98.

“He was generous, open-hearted, and kind to all those who knew him. A devoted and selfless father, he was deeply loved by his daughters,” his family said on Instagram. “His films were revolutionary and iconoclastic, and captured the spirit of an age.”

The prolific filmmaker was born in Detroit Michigan in 1926. The art of making films swayed his interest in engineering. So, in the mid-1950s he turned his attention to the silver screen by co-producing the film Highway Dragnet in 1954.

A year later he would get behind the lens to direct Five Guns West. The plot of that film sounds like something Spielberg or Tarantino would make today but on a multi-million dollar budget: “During the Civil War, the Confederacy pardons five criminals and sends them into Comanche-territory to recover Union-seized Confederate gold and capture a Confederate turncoat.”

From there Corman made a few pulpy Westerns, but then his interest in monster movies emerged starting with The Beast With a Million Eyes (1955) and It Conquered the World (1956). In 1957 he directed nine movies that ranged from creature features (Attack of the Crab Monsters) to exploitative teenage dramas (Teenage Doll).

By the 60s his focus turned mainly to horror movies. Some of his most famous of that period were based on Edgar Allan Poe’s works, The Pit and the Pendulum (1961), The Raven (1961), and The Masque of the Red Death (1963).

During the 70s he did more producing than directing. He backed a wide array of films, everything from horror to what would be called grindhouse today. One of his most famous films from that decade was Death Race 2000 (1975) and Ron Howard’s first feature Eat My Dust (1976).

In the following decades, he offered many titles. If you rented a B-movie from your local video rental place, he likely produced it.

Even today, after his passing, IMDb reports that he has two upcoming movies in post: Little Shop of Halloween Horrors and Crime City. Like a true Hollywood legend, he is still working from the other side.

“His films were revolutionary and iconoclastic, and captured the spirit of an age,” his family said. “When asked how he would like to be remembered, he said, ‘I was a filmmaker, just that.'”

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