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[REVIEW] “I Am Lisa”: A B-Movie Werewolf Hungry for Vengeance

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I Am Lisa

Werewolf revenge thriller I Am Lisa is coming to Redbox January 5th. Read on for a deep dive into a town with a serious werewolf problem.

Werewolf movies aren’t made nearly as much as their popular friends the vampire or the zombie. So when one does come along, they’re usually worth a watch. Tending to be closer to the B-movie world of schlocky violence, low budgets and basic plots, the werewolf stays close to a simple type of horror that is always appealing. 

I Am Lisa combines two familiar types of B-movies: the werewolf and the female revenge story. While not a perfect movie by any means, it has undeniable appeal for those nostalgic for a less refined horror film like those from the ‘70s or ‘80s such as I Spit on Your Grave or low budget creature features.

 I Am Lisa, aptly named, follows the story of Lisa (Kristen Vaganos), a girl who just moved back to her small town after graduating college to take over her grandmother’s used bookstore which the woman left to her in her will. 

The town sheriff’s daughter, Jessica (Carmen Anello), a vicious bully who went to school with Lisa, comes onto her and then attacks her when Lisa objects. After asking her best friend and roommate Sam (Jennifer Seward) for advice, Lisa decides to take the issue to the incredibly corrupt sheriff (Manon Halliburton). 

The sheriff immediately belittles her and takes offense at Lisa trying to report her daughter. She assaults her, then lets Jessica, her posse, and a deputy beat Lisa up, sexually assault her, and leave her for dead in the forest for the wolves to eat. A wolf does bite her, but instead of killing her it turns her into a werewolf, empowering her to seek revenge against her attackers. 

Directed by Patrick Rea (Arbor Demon, Nailbiter) and written by Eric Winkler, I Am Lisa won’t be considered one of the great werewolf movies, but it does provide an entertaining, fun little ride. 

The characters, especially the “villains”, are extremely shallow, but I wouldn’t call them flat. Despite their hollow motivations, there is a lot to like. The baddies are a particular highlight. Even though their actions and reactions were outrageously over the top, they really brought this cool intensity to their roles and are the definition of “fun to hate.”

All the majors characters in this film are women except for the sheriff’s deputy (Chris Bylsma), an oafish cruel lackey to the even crueler sheriff, which makes for some interesting interplay and a diverse array of feminine personalities. 

Lisa is a rather boring, stereotypical character that you might find in a film like this, but she has some good aggressive moments that the actress actually portrays pretty well. 

Her friend Sam is probably the most forgettable of the main cast of characters but she has a wholesome friendship with Lisa and her role in the climax of the film as motivation for Lisa’s character is tense, if not in a very predictable way. 

I Am Lisa

Image Courtesy of Eric Winkler

Both the sheriff and her daughter are more interesting characters, despite their relentless and seemingly unmotivated cruelty towards Lisa and what seems like the entire town. Anello’s acting as the repressed lesbian town bully is really fun to watch and she brings a great energy whenever she’s in a scene. Her mother is similar, but instead of angry intensity like Jessica, the sheriff’s cruelty almost seems like it’s something that amuses her. It’s how she entertains herself and passes the time, and the same is true for her deputy. 

One of the biggest problems throughout this film is that the chain of events is just ridiculous, such as Jessica’s reaction to Lisa’s rejection and the sheriff literally committing murder because someone was angry that her daughter kissed them. That’s an absurd escalation but seems on par with typical B-movie plots so it’s forgivable to a degree. 

In a way, the film is about a vengeful woman takes down the entire police institution of oppression over her town, which is not a bad message. Modern sensibilities seep into this plot, especially as the characterization of the cops as literal menaces to their town.

Their complete disregard for Lisa insinuates that they don’t do a lot of helping around town, and the Sheriff’s deputy is a frequent visitor of what looks like a town brothel where he harasses women. This is a classic throwback to ‘70s crooked cops and the cops of I Am Lisa act this well. 

The whole werewolf concept is iffy. The filmmakers chose a simpler-design for the creature, which I think helps in terms of reducing the cheesiness with probably very little budget for advanced werewolf effects, but the “rules” of the film seem haphazard and Lisa almost seems more vampire than werewolf. 

In I Am Lisa, werewolves can “half turn” anytime but go through a more intense transformation when the full moon comes. This is a pretty odd interpretation of the werewolf but it works for Lisa. She can enact her revenge by turning at will to unleash some havoc. What is cool about her half-transformations is that each time she “turns,” a new werewolf feature is added, starting with eyes, then nails, then teeth. While I wasn’t completely on board with this design, I like the gradual buildup of power. 

The kills in this are a solid “alright.” Some of them are kind of cool and some boring but still bloody, and very much imitative of some ‘80s kills (I see you, Jason X). There was one effect that made me cringe: silver nails hammered into someone’s hands. That was pretty impressive.  

While this film suffers from an overall amateurish feel, the cinematography is decent and the score is pretty good. The editing can sometimes be painfully slow, but the “look” of the film is cool.

I Am Lisa

Badass Poster Courtesy of Eric Winkler

The female actors felt a little overdone in costume and makeup, especially Lisa who seems to have time to straighten her hair after being left for dead in the woods. Maybe she wanted to slay, as she slayed? 

The sense of direction feels strong despite the shortcomings, and while the writing is littered with questions, the dialogue stays comedic which doesn’t completely make up for the plot problems, but it does help. 

I Am Lisa has a lot of faults, but that doesn’t mean it has nothing to offer to horror fans. As a werewolf movie it’s so-so, but as a throwback to the ‘80s female revenge thriller it’s enjoyable and could be a good film for a fun night with friends. 

I Am Lisa comes to Redbox on January 5th. You can also pick it up inside Walmart and Best Buy and most VOD platforms starting March 16. Check it out if a straightforward, pseudo-’80s female-driven revenge thriller with some werewolf lore injected in sounds like your kind of romp. Check out the trailer below! 

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Panic Fest 2024 Review: ‘Haunted Ulster Live’

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Everything old is new again.

On Halloween 1998, the local news of Northern Ireland decide to do a special live report from an allegedly haunted house in Belfast. Hosted by local personality Gerry Burns (Mark Claney) and popular children’s presenter Michelle Kelly (Aimee Richardson) they intend to look at the supernatural forces disturbing the current family living there. With legends and folklore abound, is there an actual spirit curse in the building or something far more insidious at work?

Presented as a series of found footage from a long forgotten broadcast, Haunted Ulster Live follows similar formats and premises as Ghostwatch and The WNUF Halloween Special with a news crew investigating the supernatural for big ratings only to get in over their heads. And while the plot has certainly been done before, director Dominic O’Neill’s 90’s set tale of local access horror manages to stand out on its own ghastly feet. The dynamic between Gerry and Michelle is most prominent, with him being an experienced broadcaster who thinks this production is beneath him and Michelle being fresh blood who is considerably annoyed at being presented as costumed eye candy. This builds as the events within and around the domicile becomes too much to ignore as anything less than the real deal.

The cast of characters is rounded out by the McKillen family who have been dealing with the haunting for some time and how it’s had an effect on them. Experts are brought in to help explain the situation including the paranormal investigator Robert (Dave Fleming) and the psychic Sarah (Antoinette Morelli) who bring their own perspectives and angles to the haunting. A long and colorful history is established about the house, with Robert discussing how it used to be the site of an ancient ceremonial stone, the center of leylines, and how it was possibly possessed by the ghost of a former owner named Mr. Newell. And local legends abound about a nefarious spirit named Blackfoot Jack that would leave trails of dark footprints in his wake. It’s a fun twist having multiple potential explanations for the site’s strange occurrences instead of one end-all be-all source. Especially as the events unfold and the investigators try to discover the truth.

At its 79 minute timelength, and the encompassing broadcast, it’s a bit of a slow burn as the characters and lore is established. Between some news interruptions and behind the scenes footage, the action is mostly focused on Gerry and Michelle and the build up to their actual encounters with forces beyond their comprehension. I will give kudos that it went places I didn’t expect, leading to a surprisingly poignant and spiritually horrifying third act.

So, while Haunted Ulster Live isn’t exactly trendsetting, it definitely follows in the footsteps of similar found footage and broadcast horror films to walk its own path. Making for an entertaining and compact piece of mockumentary. If you’re a fan of the sub-genres, Haunted Ulster Live is well worth a watch.

3 eyes out of 5
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Panic Fest 2024 Review: ‘Never Hike Alone 2’

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There are fewer icons more recognizable than the slasher. Freddy Krueger. Michael Myers. Victor Crowley. Notorious killers who always seem to come back for more no matter how many times they are slain or their franchises seemingly put to a final chapter or nightmare. And so it seems that even some legal disputes cannot stop one of the most memorable movie murderers of all: Jason Voorhees!

Following the events of the first Never Hike Alone, outdoorsman and YouTuber Kyle McLeod (Drew Leighty) has been hospitalized after his encounter with the long thought dead Jason Voorhees, saved by perhaps the hockey masked killer’s greatest adversary Tommy Jarvis (Thom Mathews) who now currently works as an EMT around Crystal Lake. Still haunted by Jason, Tommy Jarvis struggles to find a sense of stability and this latest encounter is pushing him to end the reign of Voorhees once and for all…

Never Hike Alone made a splash online as a well shot and thoughtful fan film continuation of the classic slasher franchise that was built up with the snowbound follow up Never Hike In The Snow and now climaxing with this direct sequel. It’s not only an incredible Friday The 13th love letter, but a well thought out and entertaining epilogue of sorts to the infamous ‘Tommy Jarvis Trilogy’ from within the franchise that encapsulated Friday The 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter, Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning, and Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives. Even getting some of the original cast back as their characters to continue the tale! Thom Mathews being the most prominent as Tommy Jarvis, but with other series casting like Vincent Guastaferro returning as now Sheriff Rick Cologne and still having a bone to pick with Jarvis and the mess around Jason Voorhees. Even featuring some Friday The 13th alumni like Part III‘s Larry Zerner as the mayor of Crystal Lake!

On top of that, the movie delivers on kills and action. Taking turns that some of the previous fils never got the chance to deliver on. Most prominently, Jason Voorhees going on a rampage through Crystal Lake proper when he slices his way through a hospital! Creating a nice throughline of the mythology of Friday The 13th, Tommy Jarvis and the cast’s trauma, and Jason doing what he does best in the most cinematically gory ways possible.

The Never Hike Alone films from Womp Stomp Films and Vincente DiSanti are a testament to the fanbase of Friday The 13th and the still enduring popularity of those films and of Jason Voorhees. And while officially, no new movie in the franchise is on the horizon for the foreseeable future, at the very least there is some comfort knowing fans are willing to go to these lengths to fill the void.

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Panic Fest 2024 Review: ‘The Ceremony Is About To Begin’

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People will look for answers and belonging in the darkest places and the darkest people. The Osiris Collective is a commune predicated upon ancient Egyptian theology and was run by the mysterious Father Osiris. The group boasted dozens of members, each forgoing their old lives for one held in the Egyptian themed land owned by Osiris in Northern California. But the good times take a turn for the worst when in 2018, an upstart member of the collective named Anubis (Chad Westbrook Hinds) reports Osiris disappearing while mountain climbing and declaring himself the new leader. A schism ensued with many members leaving the cult under Anubis’ unhinged leadership. A documentary is being made by a young man named Keith (John Laird) whose fixation with The Osiris Collective stems from his girlfriend Maddy leaving him for the group several years ago. When Keith gets invited to document the commune by Anubis himself, he decides to investigate, only to get wrapped up in horrors he couldn’t even imagine…

The Ceremony Is About To Begin is the latest genre twisting horror film from Red Snow‘s Sean Nichols Lynch. This time tackling cultist horror along with a mockumentary style and the Egyptian mythology theme for the cherry on top. I was a big fan of Red Snow‘s subversiveness of the vampire romance sub-genre and was excited to see what this take would bring. While the movie has some interesting ideas and a decent tension between the meek Keith and the erratic Anubis, it just doesn’t exactly thread everything together in a succinct fashion.

The story begins with a true crime documentary style interviewing former members of The Osiris Collective and sets-up what led the cult to where it is now. This aspect of the storyline, especially Keith’s own personal interest in the cult, made it an interesting plotline. But aside from some clips later on, it doesn’t play as much a factor. The focus is largely on the dynamic between Anubis and Keith, which is toxic to put it lightly. Interestingly, Chad Westbrook Hinds and John Lairds are both credited as writers on The Ceremony Is About To Begin and definitely feel like they’re putting their all into these characters. Anubis is the very definition of a cult leader. Charismatic, philosophical, whimsical, and threateningly dangerous at the drop of a hat.

Yet strangely, the commune is deserted of all cult members. Creating a ghost town that only amps up the danger as Keith documents Anubis’ alleged utopia. A lot of the back and forth between them drags at times as they struggle for control and Anubis keeps continuing to convince Keith to stick around despite the threatening situation. This does lead to a pretty fun and bloody finale that fully leans into mummy horror.

Overall, despite meandering and having a bit of a slow pace, The ceremony Is About To Begin is a fairly entertaining cult, found footage, and mummy horror hybrid. If you want mummies, it delivers on mummies!

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