Share or Scare; Can Your Kids Handle Horror?

Does sitting down with your 8-year-old to watch “The Exorcist” make you a bad parent? Should you share or scare? The answer is up to you of course, but it might not be as bad as you initially thought. There are a number of things you can look for in order to enjoy a favorite horror flick with your children; iHorror and Common Sense Media tell you the best practices.

Common Sense Media, the quintessential organization for child safety and media forms, talks to iHorror about parents and horror movies. Although they don’t suggest letting your 8-year-old watch “The Exorcist”, they do think there is a healthy way to introduce him or her to the genre.

Caroline Knorr, parenting editor at Common Sense Media talks to us about the right age to let your kids enjoy the thrill every horror movie fan enjoys, and the results aren’t as limited as you might think.

7 is not the lucky number

Although a 7-year-old is too young to watch a horror movie, if you wait a year, chances are your child might be ready to face their fears and watch one with you, “Around 8 years old is when kids arrive at the “age of reason.” They can follow more complex storylines, and they begin to be able to understand that things aren’t always black and white, right or wrong.” Knorr said.

As a parent, it is difficult to let young children make their own choices and in most cases a good parent won’t. But when it comes to horror movies, it might surprise you to know that letting your child come to you about watching one is the best way to gauge if he or she is ready or not.

“Around age 8 is when kids might start seeking out scary content looking for thrills.” Knorr said, “They can deal with the beginnings of emotional conflict — such as the loss of a pet or parents and divorce — but scenes of anger, bullying, loyalty, and moral issues all require resolution in the script. Realistic scary situations may be the most frightening. Though they might try to seem like big kids, 8-year-olds still need to be reassured that they’re safe.”

Spoiling it for your kid’s sake

Although it is almost impossible nowadays to monitor every little bit of media your child enjoys, Knorr says that “managing” the media is a great way to limit their access to things that you would rather them not see. “If you’re watching something with your kid and you notice that they are totally freaked out, just stop the movie, have a conversation about what they’re feeling and thinking, and if it’s too much, back off for the time being. It helps to tell your kids about special effects, scripting, horror-movie music, and how the director creates a feeling using all these different methods.”

In the modern age, children are exposed to many real-life terrors, and these things may result in a child’s acting out to deal with them. According to Knorr, a child should be able to express how he or she is feeling especially during times when the emotion is so intense that even the parent is affected.

“Ask, how did that make you feel? Was that scary? You can even tell them that you *like* to be scared a little bit and that’s why you enjoy watching scary movies. You know that they’re not real but you enjoy the feeling of getting a little bit frightened.” Knorr said.

 

Horror in the Theater vs. Home Theater, is there a difference?

The movie theater experience is a lot different than sitting at home watching a movie. Distractions and outside influences can create a reality break, while a theater experience is meant to drench the viewers with stimuli. Knorr says that even though there aren’t a lot of studies to determine if watching a scary movie is more destructive at home or in public, a parent’s intuitive skills should be their guide.

“At home,” Knorr explains, “your phone might ring in the middle of the action, you can pause the movie to go the bathroom, etc. We do recommend watching “starter” scary movies at home precisely because they are less immersive and of course you can more easily judge your kid’s reaction and pause or stop the movie if it’s too much.”

Don’t let curiosity kill the chat

Just because your child wants to watch a horror movie doesn’t mean he or she is ready. Knorr recalls a personal experience with her 8-year-old and his reaction to a movie scene that was shocking:

“When my son was 8 or 9 he was completely determined to watch ‘Mission to Mars’ (which we actually have rated at 8 years old) and without giving away any spoilers, he became completely distraught over a scene when a character meets with a terrible fate. My son was really traumatized and that feeling overtook any feeling of trying to put a good face on because he had insisted on watching the movie in the first place. I think that parents should read Common Sense Media’s reviews thoroughly if they are in doubt and not go too far out of the age range. Pay attention to your kids’ individual sensibilities, too. If you know that they are totally freaked out by something – then don’t cave and allow them to watch something you KNOW is going to scare them. There are so many great movies for kids and so many options for streaming, DVRing, etc. that you can definitely find a decent alternative.”

Future Killers?

The thought that letting kids watch violent materials or exposing them to graphic images can cause permanent psychological damage is somewhat true, especially if that child is already psychologically compromised. But parents can certainly make decisions that will make horror movie watching a bonding experience rather than a detrimental one. Knorr suggests starting with some of the classic movies first:

“If you choose age-appropriately (on Common Sense Media, you can search all movies by age, interest, and subject matter), limit exposure, and talk about the movies with your kids, horror movies can be something you enjoy together. My recommendation would also be to watch some of the classic horror movies and discuss the advancements in technology, special effects, scoring, etc. This will help your kids develop even more appreciation of the genre, learn some of the technical aspects of horror movies, and help them think critically about what they’re watching. “

Horror for Beginners

As for a good rule-of-thumb, Knorr says to choose movies that are age appropriate. There are plenty of horror movies for kids that can gently introduce them to your genre.

“There are lots of beginner scary movies you can sort of ease your kid into the genre with. Beyond that, talking to them about what they’re watching, how they feel about it, what they think about it.”

Are Girls More Scared Than Boys?

Gender does not need to be a determining factor in whether or not your child will be more affected or less affected by a horror movie. Whether you are introducing a boy or a girl to the thrills of a good flick, the affect might be the same.

“It’s really more about the kid’s individual interests.” Knorr said. “If you want to introduce your kids to the genre, find topics that will matter to them. It’s also really important for kids to see movies with characters that aren’t stereotypical.  Look for strong female role models, men who show emotions who don’t resort to violence to solve problems, respectful conflict resolution, no skimpy clothes, and positive portrayals and fully developed characters of all ethnicities.”

Enjoy a Horror Movie at Your Kids Level

Perhaps it is not that you should engage your child first with the concept of horror movies, rather you should let them engage you. That might mean you sit through a film that is more on their level first to determine what they can handle. Caroline Knorr suggests a few movies that might be a good segue into the genre:

Maleficent

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf

Tales of the Night

Scooby Doo Curse of the Lake Monster

The Spiderwick Chronicles

 

“The Exorcist” is for Advanced Younger Fans

Although your 8-year-old might not appreciate the post traumatic chills that come with watching a movie like “The Exorcist”, a good parent will determine if those consequences are worth bonding over. Perhaps horror fans can bond with their kids not only in sharing their favorite scary movie at the right time, but spending the time to explain the feelings and emotions that result from watching it.

Tell ihorror what age you were when you first watched a horror movie, and how it affected you.

Caroline Knorr is the parenting editor for Common Sense Media.