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Here Rolls Satan’s Sinners in “All Hell Breaks Loose”

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Written by Brian Linsky

Directed by Jeremy Garner, All Hell Breaks Loose is a grindhouse style horror / comedy that possesses a classic feel to the film, with footage grainy at times, and a gritty sounding soundtrack you’ll wanna crank up.

As summarized on the film’s IMDb page, “All Hell Breaks Loose is the story of love, leather, and violence. When the Satan’s Sinners, a vicious motorcycle gang from hell, kidnaps one man’s bride, they bite off more than they can chew. Now the man is out to save his wife any way he can, even if it means dying over and over again. With the help of a shit-kicking sheriff, a perverted priest, and a cowboy who just might be God, all hell is bound to break loose.”

The plot is centered around Nick and Bobby Sue, (Nick Forrest, Sarah Kobel Marquette) a newlywed couple who just eloped and is en route to Portland. The lovebirds soon have their romantic retreat savagely interrupted when the Satan’s Sinners motorcycle gang shows up and blows away Nick with a shotgun, before riding off with Bobby Sue strapped to their bike.

All Hell Breaks Loose

Nick and his new bride Bobby Sue are all smiles after first getting married.

The Sinners bully their way into a nearby bar, passing the time by terrorizing the local patrons and making themselves at home in their assumed clubhouse, while anticipating the gang’s next move.

All Hell Breaks Loose

Jackass star Danger Ehren McGhehey plays one of Satan’s Sinners in All Hell Breaks Loose.

But don’t write off Nick just yet. Nick “survived” the attack with the help of a mysterious cowboy dressed in all white (Joseph Sullivan), who shows up just in time to provide a little divine intervention, and encourage Nick to go get back his new wife.

Not your typical hero. Nick is a used car salesman, kind of wimpy, and looks like he’d normally never hurt a fly. He’s certainly not an intimidating figure to say the least, however in this case he has no other choice but to take on Satan’s Sinners head on in if he wants to save Bobby Sue.

Taking back his wife will be easier said than done for Nick, who finds himself on the wrong end of a shotgun barrel numerous times, and suffers other brutal consequences in the process of trying to save the day. Fortunately for Nick, the cowboy continues to conveniently show up and offer assistance.

All hell Breaks Loose

Nick is desperate to save his new wife from Satan’s Sinners.

When all else seems to fail, the cowboy leads Nick to Sheriff Parks, the long arm of the law, and another interesting character in himself. Parks is a loose cannon and a no-nonsense type of guy with a shitload of firepower, and a score he’s determined to settle.

How do you keep down a lovesick groom who just refuses to die? How do you defeat a Satanic motorcycle gang who’s straight from hell? Will any of it matter in the end? When the groom, the cowboy, the Sheriff, and even a priest all converge on the bikers hideout at once, all hell breaks loose.

The film is 87 minutes of fun, violence, and a modern day variation of the “nice guys finish last” story. Some of the acting can surely be improved upon, and I wouldn’t have minded seeing the character played by Danger Ehren (of Jackass fame) killed off a little earlier, but overall it’s an entertaining watch. All Hell Breaks Loose is currently streaming on demand and you can watch it right now at ibleedindie.com.

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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