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Horror Pets To Keep Out Of The Pet Sematary
Everyone loves their pets. And, as our own Kelly McNeely showed us a few days ago, there are plenty of good dogs and cats in horror movies that are so good that they deserve to get the Pet Sematary treatment and be brought back for another chance at life after they pass.
But then, there’s the other end of the scale. Some horror pets were mean and nasty enough in life that they aren’t worth the risk that they’ll come back worse. Like Jud Crandall said – sometimes, dead IS better.
Cujo – Cujo (1983)
The most obvious entry on this last, and therefore, the first one, is Cujo from, of course, Cujo.
Now, Cujo was just a big St. Bernard puppy who happened to get bitten by a bat and catch rabies. He’s a fluffy good boy who deserves a second chance, right? Wrong. The evil Cujo that would come back from the Pet Sematary would be just as strong and powerful as the rabid Cujo, but would have a mean streak that would overshadow his cuteness. It’s best to leave him alone.
Max – Man’s Best Friend (1993)
Max from Man’s Best Friend is another pup that gets a bad rap. He is a genetically altered Mastiff who is freed from his cruel animal testing lab by a news reporter, and he of course becomes attached to his rescuer.
He also becomes very protective of her. Needless to say, things go very badly for everyone who is not his savior reporter. So, unless you’re that reporter, Max should be kept out of the Sematary. He was mean enough the first time. He’d come back even nastier.
Ella – Monkey Shines (1988)
Speaking of experimental animals…Ella from Monkey Shines is a helper monkey who is injected with human brain tissue that makes her super smart. It also makes her super aggressive, and like Max, she develops a bond with her person, who happened to be a quadriplegic.
Also like Max, she takes her rage out on anyone and everyone who crosses her master, whether he wants her to or not. Again, unless you’re her person, Ella is not an animal that you’d want to come back.
Ben – Willard (1971/2003), Ben (1972)
There are a slew of rats in Willard, but only two – Ben and Socrates – who are named. Of those two, Socrates is the good guy, while Ben is the bad. We already let you know that Socrates deserves the Sematary. Now we’re telling you that Ben does not.
At first, he’s an ally to Willard, the young man who has an unexplainable psychic connection to him and his rodent brethren. But Ben seems to take Socrates’ unfortunate demise a bit too hard, and goes out for vengeance until even Willard stops trusting him. That kind of disloyalty doesn’t deserve a second chance.
The Cat from Hell – Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990)
Cats are cute. But they’re also sneaky, conniving, and, sometimes, in the movies, they’re downright murderous.
The cat from the second segment of Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, known only as The Cat From Hell, is so evil, his owner hires a hitman to rub him out. He’s tougher than that, though. Not even David Johansen and a $100,000 bounty can stop the Cat. If The Cat came back from the Pet Sematary, he’d be even more unstoppable.
Ramon – Alligator (1980)
Ok, so we’ve covered dogs, cats, rats, and even a helper monkey. Let’s do a reptile.
In Alligator, a baby gator named Ramon is purchased by a teenage girl while on vacation. The girl grows tired of her pet, so Ramon is flushed down the toilet. He winds up in the sewers of Chicago, where he grows to monstrous size on a diet of discarded animal carcasses from a nearby agricultural drug test facility. When the animal corpses dry up, Ramon starts feeding on sewer workers before, finally, leaving the sewers to hunt. Not that there’s room for a giant gator in the Sematary, but just in case anyone gets any ideas…nope.
Hellhound – The Omen (1976)
Any good antichrist needs a Hellhound as a protector, and Damien from The Omen has a fierce one.
First showing up at Damien’s fifth birthday party (where the hound psychically convinces Damien’s nanny to commit suicide in front of all of the screaming kids), the Hellhound becomes a faithful and obedient servant over the course of the Omen movies. The Hellhound is evil enough. No Sematary needed for him.
Black Phillip – The Witch (2015)
Ok, now we’re getting Satanic. And what’s more Satanic than a black goat, right?
Although he’s not really a pet, Black Phillip is the goat that is owned by the family in The Witch. He turns out to be much more than just a farm goat, though. He’s actually the assumed mortal form of Satan himself. So, he probably doesn’t even need the Pet Sematary to come back to life. But, just to be safe, we should keep him out of it.
Togar – Roar (1981)
Remember everything we said about cats up there? That goes double for lions. And Roar was packed full of lions, tigers, panthers, jaguars, and leopards.
Really, any of the carnivorous cats in Roar could be on this list, but Togar, the dominant male lion who challenges pack leader Robbie for control, is the real jerk. Togar and the rest of his pride cause all kinds of problems for the humans in the movie, both on screen and off. Of course, he is a lion, and any attempts at domestication should not have been made in the first place, but an (even more) evil Togar would not be good. No Sematary for him.
Mr. Whiskers – The Voices (2014)
And we’re back to domestic cats. And Mr. Whiskers from The Voices is the epitome of a “domestic” cat.
Mr. Whiskers isn’t so much evil as he is just an a-hole, which is par for the course. Still, Whiskers is meaner than average. He and his dog companion Bosco serve as sort of the devil and the angel on the shoulders of protagonist Jerry, causing him to kill the women he dates. Or, to be more specific, Whiskers talks him into killing his dates while Bosco tries to get him to stop and turn himself in. Yeah, without Bosco to reel him in, Whiskers would be out of control. He should stay out of the Sematary.
Have you seen the new Pet Sematary? Check out our review to see if it lives up to the hype.
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Movies
The Original ‘Beetlejuice’ Sequel Had an Interesting Location
Back in the late ’80s and early ’90s sequels to hit movies weren’t as linear as they are today. It was more like “let’s re-do the situation but in a different location.” Remember Speed 2, or National Lampoon’s European Vacation? Even Aliens, as good as it is, follows a lot of the plot points of the original; people stuck on a ship, an android, a little girl in peril instead of a cat. So it makes sense that one of the most popular supernatural comedies of all time, Beetlejuice would follow the same pattern.
In 1991 Tim Burton was interested in doing a sequel to his 1988 original, it was called Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian:
“The Deetz family moves to Hawaii to develop a resort. Construction begins, and it’s quickly discovered that the hotel will be sitting on top of an ancient burial ground. Beetlejuice comes in to save the day.”
Burton liked the script but wanted some re-writes so he asked then-hot screenwriter Daniel Waters who had just got done contributing to Heathers. He passed on the opportunity so producer David Geffen offered it to Troop Beverly Hills scribe Pamela Norris to no avail.
Eventually, Warner Bros. asked Kevin Smith to punch up Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, he scoffed at the idea, saying, “Didn’t we say all we needed to say in the first Beetlejuice? Must we go tropical?”
Nine years later the sequel was killed. The studio said Winona Ryder was now too old for the part and an entire re-cast needed to happen. But Burton never gave up, there were a lot of directions he wanted to take his characters, including a Disney crossover.
“We talked about lots of different things,” the director said in Entertainment Weekly. “That was early on when we were going, Beetlejuice and the Haunted Mansion, Beetlejuice Goes West, whatever. Lots of things came up.”
Fast-forward to 2011 when another script was pitched for a sequel. This time the writer of Burton’s Dark Shadows, Seth Grahame-Smith was hired and he wanted to make sure the story wasn’t a cash-grabbing remake or reboot. Four years later, in 2015, a script was approved with both Ryder and Keaton saying they would return to their respective roles. In 2017 that script was revamped and then eventually shelved in 2019.
During the time the sequel script was being tossed around in Hollywood, in 2016 an artist named Alex Murillo posted what looked like one-sheets for a Beetlejuice sequel. Although they were fabricated and had no affiliation with Warner Bros. people thought they were real.
Perhaps the virality of the artwork sparked interest in a Beetlejuice sequel once again, and finally, it was confirmed in 2022 Beetlejuice 2 had a green light from a script written by Wednesday writers Alfred Gough and Miles Millar. The star of that series Jenna Ortega signed on to the new movie with filming starting in 2023. It was also confirmed that Danny Elfman would return to do the score.
Burton and Keaton agreed that the new film titled Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice wouldn’t rely on CGI or other other forms of technology. They wanted the film to feel “handmade.” The film wrapped in November 2023.
It’s been over three decades to come up with a sequel to Beetlejuice. Hopefully, since they said aloha to Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian there has been enough time and creativity to ensure Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will not only honor the characters, but fans of the original.
Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will open theatrically on September 6.
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News
Russell Crowe To Star in Another Exorcism Movie & It’s Not a Sequel
Maybe it’s because The Exorcist just celebrated its 50th-anniversary last year, or maybe it’s because aging Academy Award-winning actors aren’t too proud to take on obscure roles, but Russell Crowe is visiting the Devil once again in yet another possession film. And it’s not related to his last one, The Pope’s Exorcist.
According to Collider, the film titled The Exorcism was originally going to be released under the name The Georgetown Project. Rights for its North American release were once in the hands of Miramax but then went to Vertical Entertainment. It will release on June 7 in theaters then head over to Shudder for subscribers.
Crowe will also star in this year’s upcoming Kraven the Hunter which is set to drop in theaters on August 30.
As for The Exorcism, Collider provides us with what it’s about:
“The film centers around actor Anthony Miller (Crowe), whose troubles come to the forefront as he shoots a supernatural horror movie. His estranged daughter (Ryan Simpkins) has to figure out whether he’s lapsing into his past addictions, or if something even more horrific is occurring. “
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Movies
New F-Bomb Laden ‘Deadpool & Wolverine’ Trailer: Bloody Buddy Movie
Deadpool & Wolverine might be the buddy movie of the decade. The two heterodox superheroes are back in the latest trailer for the summer blockbuster, this time with more f-bombs than a gangster film.
This time the focus is on Wolverine played by Hugh Jackman. The adamantium-infused X-Man is having a bit of a pity party when Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds) arrives on the scene who then tries to convince him to team up for selfish reasons. The result is a profanity-filled trailer with a Strange surprise at the end.
Deadpool & Wolverine is one of the most anticipated movies of the year. It comes out on July 26. Here is the latest trailer, and we suggest if you are at work and your space isn’t private, you might want to put in headphones.
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