Holy hell, where to begin? “Last Call” started out with a montage of the Delta and finished with the Delta, and left me saying…you know what? Just take it Bubbles.

Make that “Oh my (pink) fuck.”

For my money, this was not only the most jam-packed episode of “Ash vs Evil Dead” to date, but also its best. So much happened in thirty minutes that it was almost impossible to keep up with. With that said, never have I been more serious when I offer that if you have not yet seen “Last Call,” tuck tail and come back after you have, because the very definition of spoilers await. And believe me, this is one episode you’ll want to experience with fresh eyes.

On to “Last Call.”

Though two story lines ran throughout, we’re going to break the episode into three parts.

THE DELTA

Ash’s (Bruce Campbell) car has been with him through thick and thin (mostly thin), but let’s face face it, The King was more concerned with tracking down his beloved ride than recovering the Necronomicon. That said, ‘Last Call” had a lot in store for the kids who decided to snag the franchise’s unconnected symbol.

It goes without saying that the action in the backseat wasn’t breaking the seal on anything in that particular vehicle, but when the lass discovered the creepy-looking book on the floorboard, things went in a direction never before seen in the Evil Dead universe. The Deadites were summoned, the result of which was not the kind of cock-gobbler the fuck-boy thief was hoping for.

We were served a heaping helping of Delta as Christine.

To call it amazing would be a disservice, because it was far more than that. Ash’s baby put the doors and windows on lock down and went hunting, up to an including that heinous death scene we heard so much about while Starz Channel was hyping Season 2. Just know that it was every bit as epic as advertised and then some, thanks in no small part to a little wink from the radio. If you’ve seen the episode, you know what I’m talking about, and laughed out loud with the rest of us Dead Heads.

The beast on four wheels wasn’t finished wreaking havoc though, but more on that later.

KELLY

We all know that Ms. Maxwell (Dana DeLorenzo) is anything but a damsel in distress. Kelly is strong-willed, tough as nails and so eager to inflict her pain onto Deadites that to call her impatient wouldn’t be a stretch. However, her pining finally brimmed over after a conversation with Pablo (Ray Santiago) at the bar where Ash’s plan was to get all the partiers to show and in the process, bring the Delta and Necronomicon right to their collective doorstep.

While Pablito was complimenting Kelly that she didn’t need things like a boyfriend, job or home to define her worth, it planted the seed that Kelly needed to stop waiting and start doing. Ruby (Lucy Lawless) finds her sitting and drinking on a curb and engages in some real talk. As per usual, Ruby lets loose the mind fuck and shares that all this time she’d been coming to Ash, it was Kelly she should have been looking for. Taken aback at first (but clearly flattered), Kelly simply retorts “Okay, let’s go kill your kids.”

Back to that vicious on-screen kill that was promised and delivered, because DeLorenzo has noted on more than one occasion that she and Lawless were going to team up for some girl time, Deadite destruction this season, so that little piece of fried gold can’t be much further down the road.

THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN

Brock (Lee Majors) and a couple of his geriatric buddies made their way to the same bar where Ash and his minions were holing up, which set off a series of events. Some fortunate, others not so much.

First, the old man makes another Samsquanch reference (little nod back to Bubbs up top) and gets what I can only describe as harpooned for going Trump on Ruby. After words with his son, the two decide to handle things like men. Pablo suggested that they talk, you know, like adults, but the Williams boys decided to settle things like guys do — on a mechanical bull. Such moments are just magic because watching Majors’ arrogantly sarcastic facial expressions and approaches to women are like jumping into a DeLorean and seeing Ash weave his webs twenty years down the road.

Brock takes the crown and damns his boy for taking his daughter Cheryl from him, then takes the cock-gobbler (who made her way from the backseat of the Delta to the bar) by the hand and into the restroom, which set up the greatest stall sex scene this side of Scarface.

Last week I touched on how Pablo and Kelly continue to grow and develop as characters, and “Last Call” only built on that. Ash’s right-hand man slapped a drink out of Jefe’s hand and in no uncertain terms said it was time to stop feeling sorry for himself and show his father the man he had truly become, all with the empowering goodbye-to-Brujo tune from Season 1 playing underneath. The two picked up that the cock-gobbler (sorry, it’s just too much fun to go to another description) was a Deadite, which meant that it was time to nut up or shut up.

Ash saved the day and Brock finally realized that after more than three decades of heartbreak and disappointment, it was time to own up to the fact that his son had grown into a respectable man. This franchise doesn’t exactly lend itself to touching moments, but Campbell and Majors achieve what could only be described as emotional intensity not once but twice within a half-hour.

Brock even had a secret that would shake Ash to his very foundation, but you’ll remember that the Delta’s rampage wasn’t over, right?

DID WE MENTION…?

We were finally introduced to Ash’s childhood chum Chet (Ted Raimi) and it was worth the wait. Raimi rocks frosted tips and is just a burnout barkeep offering advice and pep talks (for want of a better term) whilst downing shots and pink fuck all night long. Whatever role Raimi will fulfill over the final seven episodes, I can’t wait because the man is hilarious, has otherworldly chemistry with Campbell and few dudes in the genre scream like the man who was Henrietta.

QUESTIONS

• For all the fireworks “Last Call” had to offer, the curtain has yet to go up on the big reveal. Where is Baal?
• How in the world are the Ghostbeaters going to stop Christine the Delta?
• Are we about to experience a rift between Ash and Kelly?
• And will that have any effect on Pablo, who is loyal to both but still haunted by Kelly when he does sleep?
• What form will Majors take now because you know Starz didn’t fly the Six Million Dollar Man all the way to New Zealand for two episodes?
• They’ve touched on the memory of Cheryl numerous times, so around what corner lurks Ellen Sandweiss?

While I was excited about Season 2, in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but wonder whether Starz could actually improve upon the initial ten episodes. After “Last Call,” however, any and all doubt has been vanquished. “Ash vs Evil Dead” is stronger than ever and I’m already counting the seconds to next Sunday.