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Baby, It’s Cold Outside: The Sub-Zero Terror of Winter Isolation

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year, apparently, which for a lot of us (writing from the winter wasteland of Canada here) means stocking up, hunkering down, and trying to get from point A to point B with all extremities frostbite-free.

Winter is a pain in the ass as is, but when your only safe haven from freezing temperatures is suddenly compromised by a mysterious and murderous force, well, damn. That is problematic.

The terror of extended winter isolation is a theme throughout the horror genre – as seen in The Shining, The Thing, Pod, 30 Days of Night, and Black Mountain Side – but it usually acts as a component of the action rather than the catalyst.

There’s an added monstrous feature – whether human or something more overtly sinister – that jump-starts the fear that has already been creeping through the cold and oppressive atmosphere.

Arctic abandonment is an answer to the obvious solutions of “Why don’t you just leave?” or “Call for help!” in a way that is far more believable and understandable than “Oh no my phone isn’t working in the middle of this forest that is probably about a half hour away from civilization”.

Communication is complicated, running to a neighbor’s house is actually impossible, and paranoia is at an all-time-high when you’ve got nothing to do but sit around and suspect everyone else of foul play. Danger could very well be lurking around every corner, and frankly, there aren’t many places to hide.

A classic example of winter-themed horror is Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining. Isolation goes hand-in-hand with paranoia – it ends up being more of a warning sign for the audience than the characters directly involved. When the hotel is occupied and busy it is non-threatening, but as soon as the Torrance family is left alone with the reminder that no-one is there to help them, shit goes a bit sideways.

There’s a healthy combination of internal and external factors – Jack Torrance brings his owns issues in but the Overlook Hotel certainly stirs the pot – and the extended period of seclusion puts a lot of pressure on an already difficult scenario.

A relatively recent example of sub-zero horror is Nick Szostakiwskyj’s Black Mountain Side. The setup is simple but the results are effective; A group working at an archeological site in Northern Canada unearth a bizarre structure and are plagued with odd illness, malfunctioning communications equipment, and hallucinations that guide them to paranoia and violence.

It’s an excellent love letter to John Carpenter’s The Thing, skillfully made with a great tracking shot to start the film’s climax. The extended moments of calm are pierced by violent discoveries that give a swift kick to the pacing – though the film doesn’t waste any time in kicking off the plot points.

The distrust that builds between the characters is well played – as some of the workers retreat early, the remaining group tries to hold out to get the job done, but it’s clear they’re starting to fray – and the breaks between scenes to demonstrate the passing of time give a good sense of how quickly things can turn.

There are some beautiful establishing shots at the opener that show just how remote they are (in Northern Canada, no one can hear you scream). The ending is abrupt and bleak to echo the stark landscape. It’s a new winter staple for me and it definitely makes me feel better about bundling up to seek out rations. I mean, things could be a lot worse.

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Editorial

Alleged Former Haunted Museum Staff Member Tattles on Zak Bagans

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Zak Bagans has been getting a bum rap lately thanks to some of his former Ghost Adventures teammates. But he’s also getting roasted by one of his alleged former Haunted Museum employees in Las Vegas

The apparent team member took to Reddit in an AMA (Ask Me Anything), inviting subscribers to ask them about their job including juicy details regarding their famous boss. It resulted in a windfall of queries that came with some surprising answers. 

Bagans was one of the first to take his ghost hunting prowess to television creating a successful reality show that featured some of the world’s most haunted places. Coupled with his good looks, reactive histrionics and penchant for building tension Ghost Adventures became a pop culture phenomenon. 

Throughout his travels, Bagans began to collect cursed items enough to fill a vintage house in Nevada which he eventually repurposed and named The Haunted Museum. Guests are able to visit his collection for a fee and are directed through its many rooms by a tour guide.

The YouTube channel TheSneezingMonkey featured the AMA Reddit thread on his channel with an update to follow.

Since the ex-employee cannot, or won’t, be verified, suffice it to say that nothing revealed in the lengthy discussion should be taken as fact. This could be a disgruntled ex-employee with nothing better to do than talk smack about the television icon who has managed to keep his show on the air for 16 years. Or, some of it could be true.

But that is for you to decide.

The Sneezing Monkey

The Sneezing Monkey

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Movies

Stephen King’s ‘The Monkey’ Sells to Neon, James Wan Co-Producing

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Pretty much any piece of writing from Stephen King is ripe for a movie adaptation. The next one is a 1980 short story that appeared in his 1985 anthology Skeleton Crew, specifically The Monkey. The news broke by Deadline says Neon won the bidding war and the film will release in 2025.

Distributors went gaga trying to secure the rights with Neon the victor reportedly paying seven figures for the horror movie.

According to Deadline: “In The Monkey, when twin brothers Hal and Bill discover their father’s old monkey toy in the attic, a series of gruesome deaths starts occurring all around them. The brothers decide to throw the monkey away and move on with their lives, growing apart over the years. But when the mysterious deaths begin again, the brothers must reunite to find a way to destroy the monkey for good before it takes the lives of everyone close to them. Theo James plays the twins in later years. [Christian] Convery plays the younger twins.”

The film is directed by Osgood (Oz) Perkins whose buzz-drunk current project, Longlegs is releasing on July 12.

The film also stars, Tatiana Maslany (She–Hulk: Attorney at Law), Elijah Wood (The Lord Of The Rings), Colin O’Brien (Wonka), Rohan Campbell (The Hardy Boys) and Sarah Levy (Schitt’s Creek).

James Wan and Michael Clear’s banner Atomic Robot have a production credit.

In 2023 a short film directed by Spencer Sherry was adapted from the King story. That film is currently touring the film festival market but you can watch the trailer below.

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Lists

Yay or Nay: What’s Good and Bad in Horror This Week: 5/13 to 5/17

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Yay

Fall is getting not one but two sequels. It’s great news because now we know bad CGI can be consciously ignored when everything else is so great. 

Yay

A man is labeled a time traveler after allegedly entering a garden shed in his 30s and exiting the next day in his 60s. If the magic is true we can finally go back and talk to Jason Blum right after Paranormal Activity and make him promise to never to touch an Exorcist movie. 

Nay

The Coffee Table. This may be the first time we have suggested spoiling a film before actually seeing it. Wait. Maybe we spoiled Old by suggesting you don’t go see it. 

Nay

Prolific B moviemaker Roger Corman passes away at 98. He gave many actors and directors a chance in Hollywood, some would go on to win major awards. His films were outrageous, often gratuitous but always filled with heart. 

Yay

Clown Motel becomes a trilogy. Cheap Indy horror filmmakers aren’t micromanaged by rich and powerful studio execs so they can have fun with their material, and what better place to exercise that freedom than at a creepy desert motel in Nevada lorded over by hundreds of clowns. 

Nay

A Jason Universe is announced which promises many lateral “activations” in the Friday the 13th universe. Although the definition of said “activations” is never fully explained it leads us to believe it was a typo for “transactions” so Fortnite players scan by a Jason skin wearing a non-IP regulation hockey mask. 

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