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Theatrical Review: Godzilla

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Godzilla

Before I even get to my thoughts on the big guy’s big return to the big screen, it feels important that I first mention/confess that I’m about as far from a Godzilla expert as anyone can possibly be. I’m totally ashamed to even admit this, but in the interest of full disclosure, the only Godzilla movie I’ve even seen, in full, is Roland Emmerich’s much-maligned American remake from 1998 – and even that I haven’t seen since I was a small child.

So yea. I just wanted to mention that, in an effort to make it clear that what you’re about to read is a Godzilla review written by a guy who doesn’t really have a soft spot in his heart for Godzilla. So feel free to value what I’ve got to say about the movie or totally disregard it, Godzilla super fans. My feelings won’t be hurt either way!

Directed by Gareth Edwards, who landed the gig based on his excellent 2010 indie film Monsters, Godzilla 2014 stars Bryan Cranston as a nuclear plant supervisor-turned-conspiracy theorist (Joe Brody) who becomes convinced that the so-called ‘natural disaster’ that killed his wife was actually something much less natural than everyone has been told. His son by his side, Joe sets out to discover the truth about the disaster, and it’s not long before that truth is revealed; in the form of a few giant monsters, including the big G himself.

Yes, there are more monsters in the film than just Godzilla, and while I personally subscribe to the ‘more the merrier’ way of thinking, especially when it comes to big ass monsters, their inclusion ultimately hurt the movie for me, rather than helped it. The problem is not so much that there are other monsters running around wreaking havoc, the problem is that the other monsters take center stage more than Godzilla does, to the point that Godzilla feels like an afterthought to everything that’s happening… which is weird, considering the film is called Godzilla.

Godzilla

In many ways, Godzilla 2014 plays out like the ‘Godzilla vs. (insert other monster)’ sequel that you’d expect a Godzilla reboot to be followed by, more than it does the straight-up Godzilla reboot that it probably should’ve been. It was as if Edwards and company were trying to do too much right out of the gate, and essentially make the ultimate Godzilla film, and in doing so they ended up taking way too much of the focus off of the King of the Monsters himself, reducing him to a giant wrecking ball who just pops up every once in a while, to destroy some shit.

Oddly enough, Godzilla’s screen-time in the film – which runs just over 2 hours – is very minimal, and while I understand why filmmakers like Ridley Scott and Steven Spielberg used that technique for films like Alien and Jaws, it just doesn’t really make sense here, as we all already know what Godzilla looks like, and know what he’s all about. Remaking Godzilla and giving him limited screen-time is kinda like remaking Texas Chainsaw Massacre and keeping Leatherface hidden for the majority of the movie, which is a total disappointment, no matter how you slice it.

But again, my biggest problem with the whole thing is not just that we don’t see all that much of Godzilla, it’s more that he doesn’t even feel like the main attraction of the movie. Instead, much of the spotlight is shined on two praying mantis-like creatures, and it’s them who the story really seems to be built around, which is a shame considering they’re not very interesting or cool looking. Can’t help but feel the ball was dropped in the monster department, even though Godzilla admittedly looks totally awesome, and perhaps the most hulking and badass he’s ever been.

Godzilla

On the human side of things, the characters are unfortunately as uninteresting as the monsters that aren’t Godzilla, and they’re as underdeveloped as the messy overall story. The only interesting character in the whole thing is Bryan Cranston’s Joe Brody, and let’s just say he’s not in the movie nearly as much as he should be – hm, I’m sensing a pattern here.

Aside from Joe, we’ve got his son Ford, who is essentially a dollar store ‘Action Hero!’ toy come to life, Ford’s cookie cutter wife who never feels like a real human being, Ken Watanabe’s Dr. Ichiro Serizawa, a scientist who does nothing but constantly look pensive and say ominous things that provide totally unintentional doses of hilarity, as well as a couple hundred generic military dudes.

There’s literally not a single character worth rooting for, as is often the case with these Hollywood military-heavy disaster movies. I much prefer to see monster movies told from the point of view of human beings that we can actually relate to – Super 8 and Cloverfield both come to mind – as I often find myself not only bored by all the military/scientist lingo but also downright confused by it. I quite honestly had no idea what most of the characters were even talking about through the majority of the movie, and with no relatable characters to latch onto, I was provided with absolutely no reason to care.

So what did I like about the movie? Well, honestly, not all that much. Again, Godzilla looked pretty damn cool, and there were a few scenes towards the very end that had me feeling like I just witnessed something really, really awesome. But the entertainment factor of the movie comes far too late in the game, with all the good stuff being saved for the final 20 minutes. Throughout the rest of the movie, the cameras cut away whenever anything cool is about to happen, like Godzilla doing battle with another monster, and it becomes quite clear that all the best moments are being preserved for a final bang at the end of the film, at which point it’s way too late.

Godzilla

In other words, the first hour and 40 minutes are totally uninteresting and unengaging, while the last 20 minutes are pretty awesome, and full of the action you were probably expecting the whole movie to be full of. And even then, it’s mostly two notably epic moments in those last 20 minutes that are worth sitting through everything else for, because even the majority of the final battle falls flat, due to how darkly lit the action is and how little of it we really see. It almost looks like you’re watching a little kid smash dinosaur figures together in a dimly lit bedroom, through binoculars, at least for the majority of those all-too-brief fight scenes.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t going into the movie looking for epic fight sequences, considering I had no idea that there were even going to be other monsters in it. And honestly, I’d be fine if there were very little monster action, and even very little Godzilla screen-time, if the story and characters were fleshed out and interesting. But since it’s devoid of either interesting characters or a good story, as well as very light on monster action, there’s really just nothing to see here, aside from those aforementioned final moments that will likely have you leaving the theater with a smile on your face – and perhaps even feeling like you just saw a movie that was way more awesome than it really was.

It’s a shame because Gareth Edwards proved with Monsters that he can make a damn fine monster movie, as well as craft interesting characters and an engaging story. I would love to see what he would’ve done with a Godzilla movie on his own, outside of the Hollywood system, because Godzilla 2014 is very much a Hollywood movie through and through, more or less embodying everything that Monsters intelligently wasn’t.

But again, I’m not a Godzilla fanboy, so what the hell do I know?

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Thrills and Chills: Ranking ‘Radio Silence’ Films from Bloody Brilliant to Just Bloody

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Radio Silence Films

Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett, and Chad Villella are all filmmakers under the collective label called Radio Silence. Bettinelli-Olpin and Gillett are the primary directors under that moniker while Villella produces.

They have gained popularity over the past 13 years and their films have become known as having a certain Radio Silence “signature.” They are bloody, usually contain monsters, and have breakneck action sequences. Their recent film Abigail exemplifies that signature and is perhaps their best film yet. They are currently working on a reboot of John Carpenter’s Escape From New York.

We thought we would go through the list of projects they have directed and rank them from high to low. None of the movies and shorts on this list are bad, they all have their merits. These rankings from top to bottom are just ones we felt showcased their talents the best.

We didn’t include movies they produced but didn’t direct.

#1. Abigail

An update to the second film on this list, Abagail is the natural progression of Radio Silence’s love of lockdown horror. It follows in pretty much the same footsteps of Ready or Not, but manages to go one better — make it about vampires.

Abigail

#2. Ready or Not

This film put Radio Silence on the map. While not as successful at the box office as some of their other films, Ready or Not proved that the team could step outside their limited anthology space and create a fun, thrilling, and bloody adventure-length film.

Ready or Not

#3. Scream (2022)

While Scream will always be a polarizing franchise, this prequel, sequel, reboot — however you want to label it showed just how much Radio Silence knew the source material. It wasn’t lazy or cash-grabby, just a good time with legendary characters we love and new ones who grew on us.

Scream (2022)

#4 Southbound (The Way Out)

Radio Silence tosses their found footage modus operandi for this anthology film. Responsible for the bookend stories, they create a terrifying world in their segment titled The Way Out, which involves strange floating beings and some sort of time loop. It’s kind of the first time we see their work without a shaky cam. If we were to rank this entire film, it would remain at this position on the list.

Southbound

#5. V/H/S (10/31/98)

The film that started it all for Radio Silence. Or should we say the segment that started it all. Even though this isn’t feature-length what they managed to do with the time they had was very good. Their chapter was titled 10/31/98, a found-footage short involving a group of friends who crash what they think is a staged exorcism only to learn not to assume things on Halloween night.

V/H/S

#6. Scream VI

Cranking up the action, moving to the big city and letting Ghostface use a shotgun, Scream VI turned the franchise on its head. Like their first one, this film played with canon and managed to win over a lot of fans in its direction, but alienated others for coloring too far outside the lines of Wes Craven’s beloved series. If any sequel was showing how the trope was going stale it was Scream VI, but it managed to squeeze some fresh blood out of this nearly three-decade mainstay.

Scream VI

#7. Devil’s Due

Fairly underrated, this, Radio Silence’s first feature-length film, is a sampler of things they took from V/H/S. It was filmed in an omnipresent found footage style, showcasing a form of possession, and features clueless men. Since this was their first bonafide major studio job it’s a wonderful touchstone to see how far they have come with their storytelling.

Devil’s Due

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Perhaps the Scariest, Most Disturbing Series of The Year

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You may have never heard of Richard Gadd, but that will probably change after this month. His mini-series Baby Reindeer just hit Netflix and it’s a terrifying deep dive into abuse, addiction, and mental illness. What is even scarier is that it’s based on Gadd’s real-life hardships.

The crux of the story is about a man named Donny Dunn played by Gadd who wants to be a stand-up comedian, but it’s not working out so well thanks to stage fright stemming from his insecurity.

One day at his day job he meets a woman named Martha, played to unhinged perfection by Jessica Gunning, who is instantly charmed by Donny’s kindness and good looks. It doesn’t take long before she nicknames him “Baby Reindeer” and begins to relentlessly stalk him. But that is just the apex of Donny’s problems, he has his own incredibly disturbing issues.

This mini-series should come with a lot of triggers, so just be warned it is not for the faint of heart. The horrors here don’t come from blood and gore, but from physical and mental abuse that go beyond any physiological thriller you may have ever seen.

“It’s very emotionally true, obviously: I was severely stalked and severely abused,” Gadd said to People, explaining why he changed some aspects of the story. “But we wanted it to exist in the sphere of art, as well as protect the people it’s based on.”

The series has gained momentum thanks to positive word-of-mouth, and Gadd is getting used to the notoriety.

“It’s clearly struck a chord,” he told The Guardian. “I really did believe in it, but it’s taken off so quickly that I do feel a bit windswept.”

You can stream Baby Reindeer on Netflix right now.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.

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The Original ‘Beetlejuice’ Sequel Had an Interesting Location

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beetlejuice in Hawaii Movie

Back in the late ’80s and early ’90s sequels to hit movies weren’t as linear as they are today. It was more like “let’s re-do the situation but in a different location.” Remember Speed 2, or National Lampoon’s European Vacation? Even Aliens, as good as it is, follows a lot of the plot points of the original; people stuck on a ship, an android, a little girl in peril instead of a cat. So it makes sense that one of the most popular supernatural comedies of all time, Beetlejuice would follow the same pattern.

In 1991 Tim Burton was interested in doing a sequel to his 1988 original, it was called Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian:

“The Deetz family moves to Hawaii to develop a resort. Construction begins, and it’s quickly discovered that the hotel will be sitting on top of an ancient burial ground. Beetlejuice comes in to save the day.”

Burton liked the script but wanted some re-writes so he asked then-hot screenwriter Daniel Waters who had just got done contributing to Heathers. He passed on the opportunity so producer David Geffen offered it to Troop Beverly Hills scribe Pamela Norris to no avail.

Eventually, Warner Bros. asked Kevin Smith to punch up Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian, he scoffed at the idea, saying, “Didn’t we say all we needed to say in the first Beetlejuice? Must we go tropical?”

Nine years later the sequel was killed. The studio said Winona Ryder was now too old for the part and an entire re-cast needed to happen. But Burton never gave up, there were a lot of directions he wanted to take his characters, including a Disney crossover.

“We talked about lots of different things,” the director said in Entertainment Weekly. “That was early on when we were going, Beetlejuice and the Haunted MansionBeetlejuice Goes West, whatever. Lots of things came up.”

Fast-forward to 2011 when another script was pitched for a sequel. This time the writer of Burton’s Dark Shadows,  Seth Grahame-Smith was hired and he wanted to make sure the story wasn’t a cash-grabbing remake or reboot. Four years later, in 2015, a script was approved with both Ryder and Keaton saying they would return to their respective roles. In 2017 that script was revamped and then eventually shelved in 2019.

During the time the sequel script was being tossed around in Hollywood, in 2016 an artist named Alex Murillo posted what looked like one-sheets for a Beetlejuice sequel. Although they were fabricated and had no affiliation with Warner Bros. people thought they were real.

Perhaps the virality of the artwork sparked interest in a Beetlejuice sequel once again, and finally, it was confirmed in 2022 Beetlejuice 2 had a green light from a script written by Wednesday writers  Alfred Gough and Miles Millar. The star of that series Jenna Ortega signed on to the new movie with filming starting in 2023. It was also confirmed that Danny Elfman would return to do the score.

Burton and Keaton agreed that the new film titled Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice wouldn’t rely on CGI or other other forms of technology. They wanted the film to feel “handmade.” The film wrapped in November 2023.

It’s been over three decades to come up with a sequel to Beetlejuice. Hopefully, since they said aloha to Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian there has been enough time and creativity to ensure Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will not only honor the characters, but fans of the original.

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice will open theatrically on September 6.

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