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Some of the Cheesiest Arnold Lines You Will Ever Hear

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With Maggie being released and Terminator: Genesys (am I the only one that hates illiteracy in movie titles?) soon to be released, it got me thinking, specifically about both film’s main star Arnold Schwarzenegger. He’s a stone cold faced one man army, leaving countless bodies behind in a wake of destruction over a number of films and then when the shooting stops, what does he do? He spits out a smirking one liner. One so cornball, but fitting to the situation, you have to stand up, throw your fist in the air and growl a manly “YEA-AHHH!” Well, most of the time. Some of these one liners are so bad that you have to facepalm in shame, as if you are embarrassed for him. The thought that a human being would utter those lines after being presented a perfect setup makes you question where we are as humans.

Then there are the one-liners that fall right in the middle. These are the head scratchers. The ones you aren’t quite sure if it was good, but it wasn’t bad either. These are the cheesy ones we will be taking a look at. I know that I will be over looking quite a few, but these are the ones that stuck with me for good reasons, most specifically they are incredibly, well, silly for a lack of a better word. But I think only one man can prove my point, so take it away, Arnie!

“He caught a train.” – Eraser
When all is said and done in the film, the villain played by James Caan sits in his limo as it stops on railroad tracks. Arnold calls him, mocking, “You’ve just been erased,” as the train smashes into the limo, causing a massive explosion and killing James Caan. Arnold then sits in an escape vehicle with the babe Vanessa Williams as she asks what happened. He replies, “He caught a train,” and drives off, credits roll. What really sells this as a cheesy one-liner, aside from the fact that it is, is the guitar sting right after he says it and the cut to black to credits, like the film is dropping the mic and walking off stage.

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“My body, my choice!” – Junior
This line really didn’t need to be said, but when you are watching a movie about Arnold Schwarzenegger giving birth, you really should have seen it coming. It’s one of those slogans that was attached to everything at the time; anti-drug, abstinence, diet, etc. But hearing it from the guy who has mowed down hundreds of thugs with a giant machine gun in one hand really kills the message. You can’t help but laugh.

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“I can hear my talk, I cannot watch it.” – Hercules in New York
Back in 1969 when he was known as Mr. Universe in his first movie role, Arnold starred as the Greek God in a modern day New York, long before the 80’s made a trend of sticking fantasy heroes in present day. All of the dialogue in these films is pretty much the fish out of water character misunderstanding any of the present day lingo or technology. After being warned to watch what he is saying, Hercules simply replies with this quip that is so stupid, but true, you slap your forehead and laugh. That’s like something a grade schooler would come up with as a comeback. But don’t you worry, Arnold. You’ll perfect your one-lining abilities in less than twenty years. I should also note that he fights a bear in this movie.

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“You should not drink and bake.” – Raw Deal
This is something I think goes without saying. A lot of terrible things could happen. For instance, you could forget you turned the stove on, filling your home with gas or you could start a grease fire… or you could hurl a deliciously baked chocolate cake at a nearly seven foot tall, bulked up Austrian man.

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“Hey you wanna be a farmer? Here’s a couple of acres!” – Last Action Hero
A line so bad, it’s good, mostly because after it’s said, he kicks a man in the crotch and sends him flying comically into the air. That’s the intention behind Last Action Hero though. It’s a spoof on action movies and casting Arnie only delivers that punch harder. I mean that both figuratively and literally. It’s over the top and goofy and the one-liners are so silly, that’s you can’t help but laugh. The film gets a bad rap, but I enjoy it for what it is. This is probably my favorite line from the film. Even in the context it’s in, it pretty re-goddamn-diculous and then he kicks the guy in the balls. How can you not love it? I think after this movie came out, all the kids at school were saying this right before kicking someone in the junk, but we were left unsatisfied when that kid didn’t fly back a couple dozen feet. Instead we got in trouble. We tended to imitate Arnold a lot, followed by a grounding.

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Hello, cutie pie. One of us is in deep trouble!” – The Running Man
If you couldn’t tell by the progression of the list, things are starting to get really silly. Even for Arnold this line is just… adorable. After he says this, you can’t help but to think “aww” and then get excited because you know Richard Dawson is about to get it. Of course, Richard Dawson says it to Arnold early on in the film, but Arnie returns the line during the climax. You know Dick was just thinking that he shouldn’t have said that to the guy who would be coming back to kill him later on. Definitely not some of the last words you want to hear.

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“Consider that a divorce.” – Total Recall
I’m pretty sure after Total Recall, most people wish this could get divorced this way. What a way to end a bitter marriage. Not that I condone violence, of course. After Arnold discovers that his marriage was a farce and part of the conspiracy against him, rather than toss his wedding ring into a lake or something cliche, he pops Sharon Stone in the head with a 9mm and he says it with that classic Schwarzenegger smirk.

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“Alright, everyone… CHILL!” – Batman & Robin
It’s hard to pick just one cheesy line from Batman & Robin until I got to thinking about it, mostly because they are all stupid. Everything is an ice pun. How clever. It’s hard to believe Arnold went along with dumping himself in that blue paint and goofy costume and then spewing out nothing but ice puns until you realize how much he was paid for that role. Hell, I would have done it. But like I said, picking the least non-stupid line from this movie was a little difficult at first, until I rewatched it (yes, I rewatched it… for research purposes, of course) and this particular line made me chuckle. It’s a little more subtle when you compare it to the rest.

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“Stick around.” – Predator
Everyone remembers this one for “GET TO THE CHOPPA!” Which is cool, but it’s not cheesy. Surely an 80’s action film where Arnold is blowing away bad guys had something to offer us, right? They wouldn’t just plop Arnold in a movie and not let him shout ridiculous one-liners. Luckily they didn’t leave us hanging. When some chump tries to sneak up on him, Arnold quickly throws a knife into the goon’s chest so hard, he sticks to a post and Arnie tells him to “stick around” then runs off to kill more people like he has some quota to fill.

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“Here is Sub-Zero, now… PLAIN-AERO!” – The Running Man
So many Arnold quotes, I could go on forever, but the fat lady has to sing eventually. When it comes to Arnold one-liners, there is only one that ever had me doubling over laughing that I had to rewind it several times to make sure I heard him right (and I did). After killing one of the stalkers whose speciality was ice (which would eventually come back to be a theme in Arnie’s career), he looks into one of the cameras and shouts his crowning achievements in one-lining. I get the feeling that this line was improved. Like before the take, Arnold told the director that he had a great idea for a one-liner, so they rolled and the moment came and he spat it out and… silence. You can just feel the silence that must have befallen over the cast and crew as he stood there smirking, all proud of himself. I mean, look at his face while he delivers that line. Well, I’m proud of you, Arnold. We all are. Thank you for coming back to acting and we are looking forward to more of your cheesy one-liners.

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Honorable Mention: The sensation of lifting. – Pumping Iron
I knew as you were reading this list, you were thinking, “but what about Pumping Iron?” Trust me, I was thinking the same thing, so I wouldn’t leave you hanging. Arnold comparing the sensation of lifting to coming? It deserves its own category. There are certain things people regret saying throughout their life, scripted or not, but this… I get the feeling he’s not ashamed of it. Now just imagine Arnold making his infamous “N’YAHH!” face as he climaxes. Good night, everyone!

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‘Strange Darling’ Featuring Kyle Gallner and Willa Fitzgerald Lands Nationwide Release [Watch Clip]

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Strange Darling Kyle Gallner

‘Strange Darling,’ a standout film featuring Kyle Gallner, who is nominated for an iHorror award for his performance in ‘The Passenger,’ and Willa Fitzgerald, has been acquired for a wide theatrical release in the United States by Magenta Light Studios, a new enterprise from veteran producer Bob Yari. This announcement, brought to us by Variety, follows the film’s successful premiere at Fantastic Fest in 2023, where it was universally praised for its creative storytelling and compelling performances, achieving a perfect score of 100% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes from 14 reviews.

Strange Darling – Movie Clip

Directed by JT Mollner, ‘Strange Darling‘ is a thrilling narrative of a spontaneous hookup that takes an unexpected and terrifying turn. The film is notable for its innovative narrative structure and the exceptional acting of its leads. Mollner, known for his 2016 Sundance entry “Outlaws and Angels,” has once again employed 35mm for this project, cementing his reputation as a filmmaker with a distinct visual and narrative style. He is currently involved in adapting Stephen King’s novel “The Long Walk” in collaboration with director Francis Lawrence.

Bob Yari expressed his enthusiasm for the film’s upcoming release, scheduled for August 23rd, highlighting the unique qualities that make ‘Strange Darling’ a significant addition to the horror genre. “We are thrilled to be bringing nationwide theatrical audiences this unique and exceptional film with terrific performances by Willa Fitzgerald and Kyle Gallner. This second feature from talented writer-director JT Mollner is destined to become a cult classic that defies conventional storytelling,” Yari told Variety.

Variety’s review of the film from Fantastic Fest lauds Mollner’s approach, saying, “Mollner shows himself to be more forward-thinking than most of his genre peers. He’s clearly a student of the game, one who studied his forebears’ lessons with adroitness to better prepare himself to put his own mark on them.” This praise underlines Mollner’s deliberate and thoughtful engagement with the genre, promising audiences a film that is both reflective and innovative.

Strange Darling

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Sydney Sweeney’s ‘Barbarella’ Revival Forges Ahead

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Sydney Sweeney Barbarella

Sydney Sweeney has confirmed the ongoing progress of the much-anticipated reboot of Barbarella. The project, which sees Sweeney not only starring but also executive producing, aims to breathe new life into the iconic character that first captured audiences’ imaginations in the 1960s. However, amid speculation, Sweeney remains tight-lipped about the possible involvement of celebrated director Edgar Wright in the project.

During her appearance on the Happy Sad Confused podcast, Sweeney shared her enthusiasm for the project and the character of Barbarella, stating, “It is. I mean, Barbarella is just such a fun character to explore. She really just embraces her femininity and her sexuality, and I love that. She uses sex as a weapon and I think it’s such an interesting way into a sci-fi world. I’ve always wanted to do sci-fi. So we’ll see what happens.“

Sydney Sweeney confirms her Barbarella reboot is still in the works

Barbarella, originally a creation of Jean-Claude Forest for V Magazine in 1962, was transformed into a cinematic icon by Jane Fonda under the direction of Roger Vardim in 1968. Despite a sequel, Barbarella Goes Down, never seeing the light of day, the character has remained a symbol of sci-fi allure and adventurous spirit.

Over the decades, several high-profile names including Rose McGowan, Halle Berry, and Kate Beckinsale were floated as potential leads for a reboot, with directors Robert Rodriguez and Robert Luketic, and writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade previously attached to revive the franchise. Unfortunately, none of these iterations made it past the conceptual stage.

Barbarella

The film’s progress took a promising turn approximately eighteen months ago when Sony Pictures announced its decision to cast Sydney Sweeney in the titular role, a move that Sweeney herself has suggested was facilitated by her involvement in Madame Web, also under Sony’s banner. This strategic decision was aimed at fostering a beneficial relationship with the studio, specifically with the Barbarella reboot in mind.

When probed about Edgar Wright’s potential directorial role, Sweeney adeptly sidestepped, merely noting that Wright has become an acquaintance. This has left fans and industry watchers speculating about the extent of his involvement, if any, in the project.

Barbarella is known for its adventurous tales of a young woman traversing the galaxy, engaging in escapades that often incorporate elements of sexuality—a theme Sweeney seems eager to explore. Her commitment to reimagining Barbarella for a new generation, while staying true to the character’s original essence, sounds like the making of a great reboot.

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‘The First Omen’ Almost Received an NC-17 Rating

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the first omen trailer

Set for an April 5 theater release, ‘The First Omen’ carries an R-rating, a classification that was almost not achieved. Arkasha Stevenson, in her inaugural feature film directorial role, faced a formidable challenge in securing this rating for the prequel to the esteemed franchise. It seems the filmmakers had to contend with the ratings board to prevent the film from being saddled with an NC-17 rating. In a revealing conversation with Fangoria, Stevenson described the ordeal as ‘a long battle’, one not waged over traditional concerns such as gore. Instead, the crux of the controversy centered around the depiction of the female anatomy.

Stevenson’s vision for “The First Omen” delves deep into the theme of dehumanization, particularly through the lens of forced birthing. “The horror in that situation is how dehumanized that woman is”, Stevenson explains, emphasizing the significance of presenting the female body in a non-sexualized light to address themes of forced reproduction authentically. This commitment to realism nearly landed the film an NC-17 rating, sparking a prolonged negotiation with the MPA. “This has been my life for a year and a half, fighting for the shot. It’s the theme of our film. It’s the female body being violated from the inside outwards”, she states, highlighting the importance of the scene to the film’s core message.

The First Omen Movie Poster – by Creepy Duck Design

Producers David Goyer and Keith Levine supported Stevenson’s battle, encountering what they perceived as a double standard in the ratings process. Levine reveals, “We had to go back and forth with the ratings board five times. Weirdly, avoiding the NC-17 made it more intense”, pointing out how the struggle with the ratings board inadvertently intensified the final product. Goyer adds, “There is more permissiveness when dealing with male protagonists, particularly in body horror”, suggesting a gender bias in how body horror is evaluated.

The film’s bold approach to challenging viewers’ perceptions extends beyond the ratings controversy. Co-writer Tim Smith notes the intention to subvert expectations traditionally associated with The Omen franchise, aiming to surprise audiences with a fresh narrative focus. “One of the big things we were excited to do was to kind of pull the rug out from under people’s expectations”, Smith says, underscoring the creative team’s desire to explore new thematic ground.

Nell Tiger Free, known for her role in “Servant”, leads the cast of “The First Omen”, set for release by 20th Century Studios on April 5. The movie follows a young American woman dispatched to Rome for church service, where she stumbles upon a sinister force that shakes her faith to its core and reveals a chilling plot aimed at summoning evil incarnate.

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