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Movie Review: “Ouija”

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In the paranormal horror movie spectrum there are movies such as“The Evil Dead” on one end, with its no-holds-barred gruesome playfulness. And on the other, “The Babadook”, with its slow, psychological build-up of atmosphere and tension. Universal’s “Ouija” falls somewhere safely in between, tucked like a stale chip in the couch cushions.

“Ouija” is out on DVD Feb. 3rd, but available to rent now on popular streaming movie rental sites.

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I have always been a fan of Asian paranormal horror movies. In these movies, a tormented spirit creates havoc on the living in order for them to solve the mystery of their death. Part of the fun for those types of movies is in trying to figure out how and why the person died in the first place. With the right execution and direction, these movies can be creepy, gruesome and satisfying. “Ouija” is none of those things.

Produced by Michael Bay, Blumhouse Pictures and Platinum Dunes, “Ouija” is another Hasbro toy-inspired movie. Of all the board game-turned-movie scripts, “Ouija” seems like it would be the most fun, but not here, the move falls as flat as the game board itself.

In “Ouija” a young lady named Debbie—is she in college or high school—mistakenly plays with a Ouija board by herself, unleashing a presence who has nothing better to do than kill young adults for reasons vaguely explained. The ghoul’s first victim is Debbie and apparently afraid of a lawsuit, the ghost makes Debbie’s death look like a suicide. Her friend Laine (Olivia Cooke) is distraught and wants answers, asking her friends to play with a Ouija board in the dead girls house. Laine expects the planchette (the spade-shaped pointing device) to spell out answers to Debbie’s death, but what they contact is anything but happy to see them.

After their night of witchboarding, suddenly those involved with the séance begin to die “accidentally”. It is now up to Laine to figure out why and how to stop it. The “Final Destination” series ran this formula into the ground, but at least they did it with an edgy suspense and a flair for misdirection. “Ouija” neither builds suspense, nor does it deliver a creep factor.

Another thing “Ouija” does is get rid of the parents. After Debbie’s wake, her parents, instead of grieving at home like any normal family, must leave on a trip, leaving Laine to tend to the house. Of course this is a set-up just to get the main players in the house alone without the complications of extra logically-thinking characters.

Olivia Cooke (The Quiet Ones, The Bates Motel) in the lead role as Laine, is a capable actress, who in the right lighting looks exactly like Rose Byrne, the mother in the Insidious movies. Cooke has a permanent look of fear and curiosity on her face all throughout the movie, but she manages to generate the only feeling of sympathy from anyone watching who cares. This movie falls on her shoulders, and she carries it very well.

Perhaps trying to capitalize on the success of the Insidious franchise, “Ouija” has Lin Shaye (Insidious 1 & 2) make a cameo as one of the sisters involved with the history of the malevolent spirit. Through an obvious twist, things only get worse for Laine.

“Could this have been a better movie?”

None of this is really scary. Except for some string section orchestral assisted jump scares, and bass heavy “whoomps!” at “surprise” moments, the movie only mildly comes away with being something better than a Veronica Mars paranormal mystery.

What works in “Ouija” is the special effects. I say that because this movie will certainly be played at tween sleepovers around the country with its PG-13 rating. Perhaps to a small clan of pajama party 12-year-olds, the movie might meet its intended audience. To them, the effects will be horrifying, especially in scenes where twine and curved needles are involved.

“Ouija” is a movie that has many ideas, but doesn’t quite make them stand out. The concept is never quite heavy enough to bolster one’s suspension of dis-belief, and therefore the movie suffers from being stuck in between two worlds; tolerable viewing and good horror. The latter should outweigh the former.

“Oujia” is directed by Stiles White and stars Olivia Cooke, Shelley Hennig, Ana Coto, Daren Kagasof, Bianca A. Santos and Douglas Smith. With special appearance by Lin Shaye.

You can order you copy of “Ouija” at Amazon.com.

 

 

 

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Another Creepy Spider Movie Hits Shudder This Month

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Good spider films are a theme this year. First, we had Sting and then there was Infested. The former is still in theaters and the latter is coming to Shudder starting April 26.

Infested has been getting some good reviews. People are saying that it’s not only a great creature feature but also a social commentary on racism in France.

According to IMDb: Writer/director Sébastien Vanicek was looking for ideas around the discrimination faced by black and Arab-looking people in France, and that led him to spiders, which are rarely welcome in homes; whenever they’re spotted, they’re swatted. As everyone in the story (people and spiders) is treated like vermin by society, the title came to him naturally.

Shudder has become the gold standard for streaming horror content. Since 2016, the service has been offering fans an expansive library of genre movies. in 2017, they began to stream exclusive content.

Since then Shudder has become a powerhouse in the film festival circuit, buying distribution rights to movies, or just producing some of their own. Just like Netflix, they give a film a short theatrical run before adding it to their library exclusively for subscribers.

Late Night With the Devil is a great example. It was released theatrically on March 22 and will begin streaming on the platform starting April 19.

While not getting the same buzz as Late Night, Infested is a festival favorite and many have said if you suffer from arachnophobia, you might want to take heed before watching it.

Infested

According to the synopsis, our main character, Kalib is turning 30 and dealing with some family issues. “He’s fighting with his sister over an inheritance and has cut ties with his best friend. Fascinated by exotic animals, he finds a venomous spider in a shop and brings it back to his apartment. It only takes a moment for the spider to escape and reproduce, turning the whole building into a dreadful web trap. The only option for Kaleb and his friends is to find a way out and survive.”

The film will be available to watch on Shudder starting April 26.

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Part Concert, Part Horror Movie M. Night Shyamalan’s ‘Trap’ Trailer Released

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In true Shyamalan form, he sets his film Trap inside a social situation where we aren’t sure what is going on. Hopefully, there is a twist at the end. Furthermore, we hope it’s better than the one in his divisive 2021 movie Old.

The trailer seemingly gives away a lot, but, as in the past, you can’t rely on his trailers because they are often red herrings and you are being gaslit to think a certain way. For instance, his movie Knock at the Cabin was completely different than what the trailer implied and if you hadn’t read the book on which the film is based it was still like going in blind.

The plot for Trap is being dubbed an “experience” and we aren’t quite sure what that means. If we were to guess based on the trailer, it’s a concert movie wrapped around a horror mystery. There are original songs performed by Saleka, who plays Lady Raven, a kind of Taylor Swift/Lady Gaga hybrid. They have even set up a Lady Raven website to further the illusion.

Here is the fresh trailer:

According to the synopsis, a father takes his daughter to one of Lady Raven’s jam-packed concerts, “where they realize they’re at the center of a dark and sinister event.”

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Trap stars Josh Hartnett, Ariel Donoghue, Saleka Shyamalan, Hayley Mills and Allison Pill. The film is produced by Ashwin Rajan, Marc Bienstock and M. Night Shyamalan. The executive producer is Steven Schneider.

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Woman Brings Corpse Into Bank To Sign Loan Papers

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Warning: This is a disturbing story.

You have to be pretty desperate for money to do what this Brazilian woman did at the bank to get a loan. She wheeled in a fresh corpse to endorse the contract and she seemingly thought the bank employees wouldn’t notice. They did.

This weird and disturbing story comes via ScreenGeek an entertainment digital publication. They write that a woman identified as Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes pushed a man she identified as her uncle into the bank pleading with him to sign loan papers for $3,400. 

If you’re squeamish or easily triggered, be aware that the video captured of the situation is disturbing. 

Latin America’s largest commercial network, TV Globo, reported on the crime, and according to ScreenGeek this is what Nunes says in Portuguese during the attempted transaction. 

“Uncle, are you paying attention? You must sign [the loan contract]. If you don’t sign, there’s no way, as I cannot sign on your behalf!”

She then adds: “Sign so you can spare me further headaches; I can’t bear it any longer.” 

At first we thought this might be a hoax, but according to Brazilian police, the uncle, 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga had passed away earlier that day.

 “She attempted to feign his signature for the loan. He entered the bank already deceased,” Police Chief Fábio Luiz said in an interview with TV Globo. “Our priority is to continue investigating to identify other family members and gather more information regarding this loan.”

If convicted Nunes could be facing jail time on charges of fraud, embezzlement, and desecration of a corpse.

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